what should I do???

hello 2 all i am new here today. have been looking for this type of forum becuz i live in a household where i am sure abuse is taking place. the culprit is my 25 yr old male nephew and the victim is my 3 yr old niece. i am sure he has abused her because he has no social contacts outside his family, has never had a girlfriend and he's somewhat good lucking but is getting very fat now, and since he lost his job over a month ago has been taking care of the 3 yr old. she adores him, but even before he was fired from his job [he won't tell anyone why] there were traces of sexual abuse on the 3 yr old-or at least i thought there was. for one she masturbates very frequently - with pillows and i even caught her trying to masterbute on her mom's leg while she was sleeping! when i tried to ask her who taught her to do this, the mom interrupted angrily saying that kids of her age always do these types of things but i don't agree with this because the 3 yr-old does it all the time. then i caught her simulating sex with her dolls-laying one doll on top of the other in a sexual scene and she' s only 3 yrs old! one time i came home from work and both of them were upstairs. he was on the computer and when she came out in the hallway, she was holding herself strangely and making strange sounds. when i snuck on the computer and looked in the history filder there was all these porno weblinks-about 50 or so! i had the distinct impression that he was showing them to her, don't ask me why, and maybe diddling her or touching her inappropriately. also for the past week or so, the 3 yr old has been saying 'my tinker hurts' and crying when it's time for her to go to the bathroom now and then. then there's last night. when i came in from work she was asleep upstairs-she often sleeps with him in his bed by the way, something i feel is dintinctly wrong as he is 25 yrs old, overweight, and no type of outside female contacts such as girlfriends or even casual dates. anyway, she was still asleep and seemed to sleep very late and had not had her dinner. when she woke up finally, at nearly 11:pm she was very silent and withdrawn. she almost seemed secretive and there was a sullen look on her face. now today she has not eaten all day and is having tantrums and fits all over the place, first yelling she wants to go 'bye-bye' with her mom, then directly after yelling that she doesn't want to go 'bye-bye'; says she wants to eat, and then turns around and says she doesn't want to eat-and i've noticed that she no longer eats her food the same way she used to in the past month. when she started acting out he came downstairs and was lurking around watching me and the mom-i caught him looking at both our faces to see anything-at least that's how i took it to be. also when we tried to get the 3 yr old to go to the bathroom she yelled and cried and had to be forced to sit on the toilet and it took nearly 15 minutes just to get her to go potty with her crying rivers of tears the whole time. this to me just reeks of something being very wrong! i know in my gut that he is doing something to her but cannot prove it and then there's the thought 'what if i'm wrong'? what do i do if i report this to the authorities and i'm dead wrong???!!!!

i need help, please, and advise fast! i just cannot go on thingking and believing that he is molesting my niece and not do anything about it but at the same time i don't want to accuse someone if they are innocent. that is a big stigma to live under-child abuser.

thanks in advance for any help or suggestions.

nn1

i learned from my nephew's mom (my sister) that she beleived he was molested by an older sister, but she never confronted either the nephew or the sister about this. if it's true, it also stands to reason that he is now molesting his own sister!

please help!

My 5 year old daughter began masturbating constantly and simulating sex and crying when she had to urinate and my cousin was living at my moms house who babysat her at the time so I imediately thought it was him. I took her to a doctor and told her my suspicions and it was the doctor who reported it. The police came and interviewed my cousin but determined it was not him and that was it, there were no repercussions of having to live under a stigma unless he had done it. My daughter didn't tell who it was until she was 7 years old when I finally found out it was my moms downstairs neighbors. They had used her to perform oral sex on them by coercing her with chocolate.
Don't take a wait and see attitude about this. Those are classic symptoms of sexual abuse and she should be examined by a doctor to look for tears of the vagina. If there is something going on your silence is only condoning the behavior. She is all that matters, not your cousins hurt feelings if there is nothing going on. It sounds like her mother isn't the type to want to face bad news and might prefer to live in denial. You may have to make the report yourself and live with the consequences. good luck I wish you strength