Austism, dad short temper

My bf and I have a 3 year old who as recently been digsnosed with Austism. He has a lot of “tantrums” and dad has a short fuse. Dad is good with our son mostly, but has a short temper. Screaming, crying, being loud sets him off. Usually it’s just yelling but I have seen him grab our son by the throat and arm and throwing him in the couch, grabbing by the hair shaking his head around when he doesn’t stop crying (hard enough to pull out hair), uses fear to trying to make him “behave”. I feel he is just so rough with him and this is just what I have seen. I can’t imsgine what he’s done when I’m not around. When I yell at him like “what the hell are you doing?!” He like snaps out of it and I see he is upset/ashamed but it’s something that has happened regularly. I don’t know if this is something that can be fixed with counseling ?

The last event I came home and our son is crying on the couch (he never sits still on the couch) and has a big red mark in his cheek. I asked what happened and my bf said he didn’t know must have been from daycare (which is possible, but maybe I’m just being paranoid at this point ) .

This sounds abolutely horrendous! I'd leave this guy immediately and protect your son. Your son is absolutely helpless in this situation. He sounds like he is in danger.

If the mark was from daycare, the daycare would have informed you or your partner.. I think you know that the mark was from his Dad rather than daycare.

I don't want to be too harsh here, but your child is being abused, and you're allowing it to happen.. you need to protect him and ensure it never happens again.

Get your partner out of the house, and refuse to let him back in.. and never leave your child alone with his dad again.

Thank you all for responding. I contact a child abuse help chat and they have connected me with resources in my area. My son and I will be moving out soon into my brothers home.. Until we move, our son is not to be alone with him.

Glad to hear that, that sounds like a bad situation just waiting to get much worse.

I'm so pleased to read your update..

re your childs dad, i do think therapy could possibly be helpful - but it does need to be a process that he goes through while he's living seperately.


Given that your child has autism, and you know some of the signs to look for - do you think Dad might be on the spectrum? if so, it would be worth him contacting a specialist that has experience of adults on the spectrum rather than just a standard anger management therapist.

Jesma1 wrote:Thank you all for responding. I contact a child abuse help chat and they have connected me with resources in my area. My son and I will be moving out soon into my brothers home.. Until we move, our son is not to be alone with him.

Jesma1, I'm glad to hear you've gotten some resources in your area. Sending hugs and keep us updated if you can, to let us know you are ok.