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Does anyone else act like a scared/hurt child when triggered

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Does anyone else act like a scared/hurt child when triggered

Postby Aiodbne » Fri Aug 10, 2018 2:02 pm

I am an adult and I am very mature 99% of the time but at times (usually when someone hurts me emotionally or even physically) my T and even my mom says that I start acting like a hurt child. I start whining about things that happened all those years ago and sometimes act like it is still happening. I have been in to see my T so many times complaining about things that happened to me when I was a child and acting like they were happening now. my voice goes higher too. I don’t see him any more but he said that he thinks a part of me split off when something happened to me as a child. I sort of laughed and didn’t take him seriously but now im regretting that because I don’t understand and feel so alone
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Re: Does anyone else act like a scared/hurt child when triggered

Postby avatar123 » Fri Aug 10, 2018 3:16 pm

I think you're talking about emotional regression, which is not that uncommon, so you don't have to feel alone. We probably all have certain triggers that drive us back to childhood, to some degree. I know I tend to overreact to perceived injustices. This can result from unresolved issues from your childhood.

For example if you frequently experienced injustice as a child, you would deal with it in a child-like manner as you described, but might not have ever come to terms with it because you lack the skills to do so as a child. Then if you experience it again as an adult, you might revert back to how you best know to deal with it, from your childhood.

If that's it, then you might think about what happened when you were a child, how you dealt with it then, and the difference with how you would deal with it now as an adult. By doing that, you may be able to replace the regression with a more adult approach. If you are still in therapy, your therapist could help with this. Or it may be enough for you to become aware of it when it happens, and substitute your more recent adult coping skills.

Anyway, hope that helps. I'm sure it's frustrating to be told that by others, when you yourself are not as aware of it, but it does seem like something you could change about yourself over time.
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Re: Does anyone else act like a scared/hurt child when triggered

Postby quietgirl2538 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 12:36 pm

I get triggered remembering the past with my mom and her ways. I am doing better with distancing from that type of treatment that was still ongoing even as an adult. I slowly (3 years) am feeling safe and in control of how I allow others treat me over all, especially my mom. It's just happened naturally that the memories are sort of not feeling so "in the moment" as if I am reliving them anymore. Sending hugs, if wanted.
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Re: Does anyone else act like a scared/hurt child when triggered

Postby mymothersmike » Thu Nov 01, 2018 12:12 am

My mother was very controlling and I was very compliant.

When I get stressed / maybe triggered I tend to feel very tired. I don't get whiney the other thing is I get very obedient which was what my mother wanted. So if a friend or work colleague gets frustrated or expresses frustration with me or just actually in general then I go into this mode where I only answer questions rather than being conversational and I go into this mode where I try to help them. Like I will do whatever task they want. For example I was walking through the office at work the other day and one of the guys was trying to move their desk and they swore about something. I immediately came over and helped move the desk with them. I couldn't just leave them to do it themselves. I think because when I was a child my mom was always expecting me to be at her side to help or something.
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Re: Does anyone else act like a scared/hurt child when triggered

Postby Terry E. » Thu Nov 01, 2018 3:50 am

mymothersmike wrote:
I get very obedient which was what my mother wanted.




The trying so hard to please sets us up for not being able to negotiate fair outcomes for ourselves later in life.

Sets us up to be "used again"..there are people out there who are always looking for us because they know we want to please
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Re: Does anyone else act like a scared/hurt child when triggered

Postby quietgirl2538 » Sat Nov 10, 2018 3:34 pm

I got my brows waxed a few days ago and I don't like other people waxing my brows except for one person I completely trust and I fell for it. I let them wax my brows because I felt bad and was trying to be nice instead of say no. I regret so much that I did that. Not because they did a bad job (which they did but not too bad as my other person can fix it), but because I was "people pleasing" again and I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to be myself. I want to be strong and say no, thank you, I don't want to have my brows waxed. *sigh*
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