Neglected as a baby *Trigger warning*

When I was born my dad was in prison and my mum was addicted to drugs, I was neglected by her until my grandparents won custody of me after my mum chose the drugs over me. I’m now 18 and I’m having a lot of problems with drugs, people and problems in my own head. I feel like I can’t escape. My life is ruined. One of my grandparents is now dead and the other I have a shaky relationship with due to my poor mental health and the way I act. I try to fix myself and get better every day but nothing seems to work, it’s like I’m just not meant to be stable like everyone else. I feel like the only way anyone will notice how dark of a place I’m in is if I kill myself. Because I have tried to explain to everyone I know how I feel and NO ONE understands. It’s driving me insane.

Really sorry for the late reply, but many here really do get it. The worst stories are not up for people to see I assure you. Many of us have bottomed out like you. Failed attempt one, things get worse, fail attempt 2, and then stop and drag themselves forward.

Is there any counseling available anywhere ??

Do you have a job ??

A place to stay ??

were you abused or is it pure neglect (it damages all sorts of things)

you are on a PC. How much access do you have ??

It can get better, it really can..