Is Religious Persecution Damaging to a Child?

35 y/o male here. It's been two years since my two older sisters and my mother spoke and the last week there has been a $#%^ storm of argument between my mother and I. Basically she had a lot of hatred in her when raising us and it was nonstop religious persecution and belittling. Telling us that we were not christian enough or if we didn't do this or that we would burn in hell. We couldn't ask questions or have our own opinions or we would be disciplined. She would burn any toys like superheroes or cloths that had cartoon characters on them.

It all came to a head between her and I this week and I told her haw #######5 she was as a mother and she tried to turn it around on me. I told her I didn't feel loved in her household and she asked me why not. What did she ever do to make me feel unloved. I honestly don't know how to answer that question. Is it possible that religious persecution is as damaging as physical abuse to a child? We were also physically abused by our stepdad but I feel like most of the damage came from my mother for some reason.

I might be going out on a limb on this, but everyone is entitled to their opinions. My opinion of the title of the post, is that yes, I believe that to be true by many, many examples I have seen in my lifetime.

I have strong views about respect and the dignity of each human being. When, in the name of "religion," those actions which are clearly abusive, there is no other explanation to that behavior but unkindness, cruelty, or even clear full blown child abuse or abuse of another person. I find some explanation for others treatment in the name of religion as cruelty. And by the way I am a non-practicing catholic.

RNails wrote:
I told her I didn't feel loved in her household and she asked me why not. What did she ever do to make me feel unloved. I honestly don't know how to answer that question.

Maybe it was not religious persecution but maybe her way to control you and maintain power. To allow her to justify dominating you.

Childhood should be a time of building a bank of happy memories. Memories that pull us through at times when things get tough.

Being a parent is more than stopping you from starving.

I am not qualified enough to be able to call it emotional abuse, but as a parent just a huge FAIL .

Do you still talk to your sisters ?

Were you and your sisters close.

I shudder to think how your mother educated them on sex.

quietgirl2538 wrote:I might be going out on a limb on this, but everyone is entitled to their opinions. My opinion of the title of the post, is that yes, I believe that to be true by many, many examples I have seen in my lifetime.

I have strong views about respect and the dignity of each human being. When, in the name of "religion," those actions which are clearly abusive, there is no other explanation to that behavior but unkindness, cruelty, or even clear full blown child abuse or abuse of another person. I find some explanation for others treatment in the name of religion as cruelty. And by the way I am a non-practicing catholic.

I guess that is the best way to explain is as just plain abuse with god as her excuse.

Terry E. wrote:

RNails wrote:
I told her I didn't feel loved in her household and she asked me why not. What did she ever do to make me feel unloved. I honestly don't know how to answer that question.

Maybe it was not religious persecution but maybe her way to control you and maintain power. To allow her to justify dominating you.

Childhood should be a time of building a bank of happy memories. Memories that pull us through at times when things get tough.

Being a parent is more than stopping you from starving.

I am not qualified enough to be able to call it emotional abuse, but as a parent just a huge FAIL .

Do you still talk to your sisters ?

Were you and your sisters close.

I shudder to think how your mother educated them on sex.

I'm close with one sister and I'd say neutral with the other. My older sister has a large family and doesn't call much so we're not that close. Mom didn't educate the girls about Sex. My older sis got pregnant when she was 16. The one I'm close with was more independent like myself so made smarter decisions. We're both very intelligent people and have made our life decisions based on logic but there is still a lot of underlying emotional damage there.

Thanks for coming back to us. Yeah IQ helps a lot, so does a sense of humour. You won't believe what I am inclined to tell as funny stories. Live with someone like your mother I bet there are a few.

Stay close to your sister and be available for your other sister and her children.

I'm glad you updated us. I just went through some triggering experience where it took me back to my days of living with my mom and her bad treatment of me. It is not a good thing.