How do I avoid an abusive parent and should I?

So my mom obviously has issues of her own but I get nervous at the sight of her. I do not live with her anymore but she constantly asks me to be with her. I don't want to hurt her but I'm afraid of her. I always make lame excuses and its exhausting.

You can't fix her issues yourself nor should you try to. You shouldn't let her have this kind of power over you. If you don't want to hang out with her, you shouldn't feel the need to do so just because she wants you too. If she has such an effect on you that you get nervous at the sight of her, I can understand why you don't want to be around her.

Have a nice day and welcome to PsychForums.

How should I go getting away from her if every time I ignore her she has a tantrum and every time I keep ignoring her someone in my family forces me to make up with her using the excuse family is important. It feels like they don't want to deal with her drunk spells so they drop that weight on me. I'm scared if I go with her she could hurt me. I just want a mom though. I want and have always wanted to feel safe with a mom. I want her to be the mom who tickled my feet , piles leaves over my head, who cried because she accidentally killed a bug, who picked dresses out for me and made blue popsicles because it was my favorite color. Now she's like a horror movie strained into trying to be a happy film. Its obvious to be she's really close to snapping. Its like a rip in a rubberband. You pull it but try not to let it snap.

Your mum sounds like she was once amazing. I guess this new stage is hard.

Family is sometime as much as children supporting parents as the other way around.

It looks like a new dynamic.

Try and support her, sounds like things may have gotten a bit rough, but look after yourself

maybe give yourself a little time to grieve whats lost as well.

Take care

It was less of a transition more of a back and forth thing. She can be loving one minute and slapping me the next. I love her but going around her makes my heart race. I don't want around her but I want a mom. She's honestly my worst nightmare. She hit my face a lot and I seen her drunk every night. I wanted to go to school and stay there because coming home was always a hit or miss. She could be passed out in the bathroom or really mad.

Honestly, if she is causing you that much distress then I feel you need to just cut her off.

My mother would effect me just the same, and she got worse once I had kids of my own too.

Family or not, no one has the right to disturb your inner peace. Yes I know we play a role in how much we "allow them to affect us" but the reality is when you have been subjected to this emotional abuse all of your life, it's hard to break out of it.

I suggest taking a break from her for a while at least, and focus on yourself. Have you ever communicated to her how badly she effects you?