Being a boy-slag.

I have not been on here for a long time. But those of you who remember me might recall that I started to have sex with older men when I was 13 and did prostitution since I was 14. Those who recall me might also know I was in some legal trouble, which is not only now over, but I have managed to retain my liberty. That is of course good.

None the less, though I am very very fond of some of my boyhood sexual adventures with men, through prostitution I did run into some bad things.

I was raped twice by the time I was 15. Some things with men were bad. I had tried to forget the bad things. But in all this stuff I had to remember.

One thing I struggle with I can't bare to think about.

But more than that. I'm a man.

I think I need to accept some things.

OK. I'm gonna say it.

I was raped. He raped me. I was a boy. I was scared. It hurt. I got a stomach ache.

###$ this $#%^.

I dunno.

I was terrified.

Dear cumulusjames:

I am not familiar with previous posts by you. All I read is this one. I am sorry you were raped. And that you were mistreated when you were otherwise. I sure hope life gets better for you. To deal with the rape and past abuse, I hope you can attend psychotherapy with a competent, caring therapist. And I hope you have a loving relationship with a partner, sooner than later, one of mutual respect.

As one very familiar with being disrespected at the least and brutally abused at the most (it all hurts0, I sure appreciate respect still. It feels like a breath of fresh air every time.

atina

hugs and w/b, cumulus!

Good to hear you managed to avoid incarceration, I remember that was a concern.

Did writing it out help you feel better? I think it does, and the more we don't want to say it- even in a anonymous venue such as this- the better it seems to let it out. I know I've had trouble with saying things on here and when I finally do it's such a relief.

How you doing sweet pea?