Uncovering repressed memories/ emotions

Hi everyone!

I know that I got stuff buried in me that I have a hard time dealing with such as emotions and maybe some memories.
So I am curious about you who have uncovered memories or feelings that was once lost, it is often said that one usually have had a hunch all along but didn't want to admit how severe the problem was.
How has it been for you?

I feel a strong resistance in me to uncover some stuff about my childhood but at the same time I am very curious and wonder if I'll ever get to feel like things makes sense and that everything can be explained.

*TW*

Hate to be blunt but not in a good mood. I found out my father strangled me to 'punish' me when I was 7. My half BPD (parts were dissasociated) means I shouldn't engage in a discussion about blame and whether he was right or stuff, but yeah, happy memories, I kind of knew something was up when Ari couldn't take things around her neck.

-Scarlet

Thank you for replying ScarletSorrowfulRose!

It's a bit hard for me to understand your answer, should I assume that you have DID?

I have a hard time with being restrained but I know why, I endured corporal punishment as a child if I did something that any adult would find unpleasant.
I know that I sometimes did and said things because I was hurting inside but the adults misunderstood me and thought that I was being defiant.
I guess that I dissociated when things escalated in similar events since I only remember fragments of what have happened without feeling anything.

Yes, I do have DID, a bunch of stuff has come to light recently like it turned out my sister physically abused me from a very young age and badly as well. My father was even more physically abusive though as 'punishment' and my mother was more on the emotional side, most of it stopped when I was 10 years old but there are too many scars, my alters stand as proof of that. I don't know where adults get it into their head that behaviours have to be 'punished' the way they do. I'm sorry if my answer was hard to understand, that happens when some alters mess around with my head. As for what I do remember, sometimes I don't feel anything and sometimes I feel huge amounts of emotion, like one time I was just like 'yeah, someone locked me in a cupboard for hours, cool' and sometimes I'm like 'Holy $#%^, I can't take it, it's too much, I just...*usually proceeds to screaming or crying here*', (obvious exaggeration but close enough in some cases) I blame that on my BPD to be honest.

-Scarlet