Nine-year-old sister watching porn?

I found out that my little sister was sneaking her laptop in to her room at night and returning it to its normal spot before morning so I logged on one day to see what she was doing on it, turns out she's been looking up mainly hardcore bdsm porn and to a lesser extent non-consensual/rape stuff almost every night for several months now (which also explains why she's drop-dead exhausted every day). I'm getting kind of scared that she was molested and that's why she's so interested in this. No one else could have told her about it, our parents homeschooled both of us (not me anymore, I'm in community college now and relatively normal) so she's extremely sheltered and is literally never alone with the few kids her own age she does know, who are also very sheltered. An adult is always constantly supervising her when she's out of the house. She also wets the bed every night with very few exceptions and has some weird hygiene problems along with being incredibly shy and withdrawn around people she doesn't know and picks at her skin a lot, but idk if that has any connection. I'm definitely telling our parents, I just want to figure out why she's doing this.

Hello:

I hope your parents, her parents are not part of the problem. Actually, most often parents are part of the problem when a child is troubled. I wish you, assuming you are not part of her problem, could talk to her and listen to her.

Could you do that, instead of talking to your parents???

atina

-- Mon Dec 21, 2015 8:43 am --

Wanted to mark :notify me when a reply...

If she is constantly sheltered and never aloud out alone, then it would be natural for her to be shy around strangers.

Has the bed wetting just started or has it being going on all thru her life. What has your mother done about this.

Why do you think her parents have not become concerned about her being tired.

It is important to make the right call here, so sorry to be asking questions instead of giving answers.

what weird hygiene problems has she got.?

while there are some signs to be concerned about - I really hope that she's just a nosy kid that fell into the wrong part of the internet out of sheer boredom.

I agree with atina - please do make very very sure that your parents are safe people before you speak to them about this. It would be a lot better if you could speak to your sister privately and ask her if there are any problems - explain that you're concerned that the stuff she's been viewing online isn't appropriate for someone of her age and you're a bit worried.

and i echo the thoughts and questions from Terry.
also.. who is the adult that supervises her when she's out of the house.? Is it always one of your parents or are there other adults as well.?
Is your sister ever left alone with one of her friends.? what about a brother or sister of theirs.?

Hello~

I think I can help ease your fear (a bit). Hopefully.
I started watched porn at 8-9 years old (im a girl) and
It was a lot of BDSM, non-consensual stuff. At that age I even fantasizes about being kidnapped or raped, which sounds really bad. I suffered a lot of abuse as a kid though, and had a very emotionally unattached father which I think was the kicker. You should examine your sisters relationship with her dad in particular (father daughter relationships affect sexuality heavily). But she may just be sexually perverted, which isn't too abnormal, and doesn't mean she was molested. Most women I've met who were molested actually don't want anything to do with sex in any way, but that doesn't mean it never happened. The best thing you can do is either ask your sister directly, like taking her to get ice cream and sitting down to chat. Or, if it really worried you, bring it up to your parents. She could just be an over sheltered child with pent up sexual energy that manifests itself in odd ways. Either way, it sounds like she's just a kid exploring some odd desires, and the best thing you can do is make sure she understands her own sexuality, self worth, and what it is she's looking at. BDSM porn (hardcore or not) and even non-consensual stuff is not a sign of any serious mental problems, because BDSM plays on carnal/primal sexual needs and interests. It's not a scary, abusive thing like one would believe, and hopefully she will understand that her desires are most likely a form of possessive, powerful love and lust with a need for control and vulnerability, and she won't grow up to gravitate towards abusive relationships because of it. Anywho, good luck

This is going to offend some people because it's not a PC opinion, but there is nothing psychologically healthy about mixing torture, humiliation and degradation with sexuality, which is supposed to center around love and bonding. Not to mention that this is only a little girl, not an adult. But this isn't a surprising thing, because as a kid I also found all sorts of disturbing material online. I'm only beginning to realize now how damaging it was to my psyche and my childhood innocence.

The first thing you need to do is figure out a way to block off this content as much as possible, even though the damage has already been done it can at least be halted from doing further harm. Then you need to figure out a way to get her to come talk to you. The worst possible thing is to confront her with this as she's no doubt going to feel deeply shameful. I don't suggest you talk to your parents unless you can be certain they will not be confrontational or accusatory with her.

When you inevitably have to talk about it, the best solution is to avoid making her feel ashamed for hooking onto this material and seeking it out; it's a natural reaction to an unnatural situation, i.e. being able to find videos and images of this kind with a simple click (or misclick) of a button. It's actually hard to say what to do because emerging research is showing that exposure to pornography can be just as emotionally damaging to children as sexual abuse, with all the same symptoms. Depending on how she deals with the stimuli she may or may not need therapy but it will come down to how your family handles it. Good luck and I'm so sorry about this situation.

and some locks on the computer or router maybe.. to prevent this which at the very least is costing her sleep health it sounds and likely a bit of a advanced hobby for a 9 year old...

The most alarming thing I read based on personal experience is the skin picking, as that's a very serious indicator of abuse. I wish someone had helped me when I began picking at myself, instead I was threatened with more abuse (to be taped up, or have gloves taped on, anything but consider the abuse causing it lol) which would also indicate a Scapegoat child I bet so I'm wondering if mom or dad is possibly NPD (the PD that typically assigns a winning role "Golden Child" and losing role "Scapegoat" to children, at least common when it's the mom. And picking is a potential result of such a mix of family (not just parents, the kids get to pick on scapegoat too, see-if everyone picks on you, you may become a picker) as with a scapegoat role... nearly anything goes, any type of abuse, and from siblings may be encouraged if not just overlooked (of course the NPD parent woudl be behind that). And it's serious as it can go on and on through life-being the only learned protection facade the child created in place, thus anytime stressed-they harm to feel relieved.. and it works well enough inside such abused heads that it can lead to major problems, obvious scarring and and avoidance of many social situations for example... is she the family trashcan? If So she's ripe for any type of abuse that comes with the Scapegoat role, including sexual and it's certainly possible.

hi, she probably saw it by mistake. it happened to me too. i saw it by mistake and kept on watching. just explain it to her it's not good. it happened to my cousin too. it usually comes out of asian countries. i know this is really weird, but make sure you're not being stalked by them.