Ever made to feel like you were the bad guy?

I'm so confused - confused as to why my dad starts yelling about stupid trivial matters.
I am not exactly happy about my yelling back at him (means that I am no better than him), but it really was the first/second me I have stood up to him. My anger was over why he could accuse me of " misleading " him that my in-laws would say yes to their invitation to come to my parents for Christmas. My husband and I thought his parents were free and it turns out they weren't - my own father took the time to call me and proceed to yell at me over the phone for this. How is it my fault? And now I feel guilty about screaming back at him " we didn't know" and hanging up on him. He deserved it but he will find a way to ignore his actions and it will become about how I got angry and was disrespectful and how I am totally ungrateful. I hate giving him any satisfaction of an excuse, which is why I am disappointed in myself.

Why does my father take stupid things like this as a personal attack on him when it was a simple case of they asked them too late?

Why do I feel like the bad guy?

Why does my mom take his side when not two months ago she cried to me about dealing with him? Said that she is the target now. (Made me resent the fact that she knew that his volatile behavior was wrong - as if she had buffers in her kids to protect her) She is not talking to me.

I am sorry your father is so unreasonable, you should not feel bad about yelling at him.

I have a stepfather like that. When he starts yelling, I first try to talk to him calmly, be he just yells over me, so I have to yell loud enough for him to hear me. What I am saying, if you spoke in a calm manner, I doubt he would have hear you over his own yelling. If he calls you disrespectful for you yelling at him, it would make him a hypocrit. How many times did he yell at you vs. how many times you yelled at him. You should not feel bad for standing up for yourself.

I think he wants a scapegoat to blame, when his plans don't work out as he wanted. With my parents, what ever went wrong, it was always anothers fault, somtimes mine.

I think your mother just side with hime because she is scared of his 'volitale behavior.'

You are not as bad as he is, you feel bad about yelling. Do you think he feels bad? Don't feel bad, it is natural to yell when you are being yelled at.

Take care, hope your christmas is great.

Thank you for your comments. You are right about that too - I had said " we didn't know, we thought they were free" 2x And you are right - he didn't seem to be listening and I was angry that he would be calling and yelling at me for that so I yelled over him and then hung up.

As of now we are Christmas - homeless but we will probably end up going to his brother's with his parents.