How to deal with over-controlling grandparents?

Not sure of where to put this so I'll just leave this post here.

I am a 19 year old college student who left her abusive mother's house last year to go live with her grandparents. This was all well and good until they had to go to court to get my sister from my mom too. Now that my grandparents have the both of us, they decided to give us some rules. Our computers and cell phones have to be downstairs (so they can monitor us) and we have a bedtime at 9pm.

I understand this for my sister since she's 13, but I am almost 20 years old and to me I think this is crazy. I don't think I should have a bedtime set at all and I should be allowed to keep my phone upstairs. I've never given them any reason to think I'm doing bad stuff on my phone but since my stepmom pays for it they want it downstairs so she can check it and take it away from me if she wants.. I guess the only way to remedy that is to pay for my own phone, so I'm going to work on that.

But aside from all that, I just feel like my freedom of choice has been stripped from me again, and that's really hard.. I was sexually abused when I was little and my freedom of will wasn't available then either. And though this is a vastly different situation, the feeling of being restricted remains and it's putting my depression in a really bad place.. but i can't move out. I only work a minimum wage job and that wouldn't be enough to survive on. I just feel so hopeless right now... does anyone have any advice for me or maybe any comforting words?

Sorry but I have no advice. That said I do feel for you.

I think being a grand parent and then talking responsibility for two grandchildren is huge. Probably 20 years ago I would not have thought so, but now at my age I am so looking forward to my youngest moving out and he is 31 (I'm 61). If I had to take over responsibility because there was no one else or it was the best option I'm sure would, but it would be very hard. (something happens that saps so much energy by that time of life. ) It really is a big thing. And of course what ever money you have no has to go four ways instead of three and then other children may get concerned about their future wealth being dissipated on their nephews or nieces.

My mother was a monster. Drove dad out when I was 7 (she was very violent - one day she cut up all his suits except one and one shirt - writing on the wall could not have been clearer). My brother used to escape to our grandparents to escape her sadistic beatings. My grandfather would ring her, she would cry to her daddy about how unfair life had turned out and he would make her promise not to do it again. He would then turn to us and say "she has promised not to do it again" - as if she was a normal person, not some psychopath.

No matter how bad it was no matter how many welts and bruises they saw no matter how starved we looked, they never said. "it may be best if you stay with us".

So I suggest trying to make the most of it, and settle into a new normal until economic freedom is yours. Develop yourself and grow within your confines.

I assure you that whatever in life you may be missing out on, will one day looking back appear so small.

Again I do feel for you, but learned long ago that life is not fair and make the most of what it gives.

Take care.

Eventually my brother snapped back and became confrontational, life them really started to get crazy.