Is my dad holding me back/being emotionally abusive?

I'm 18 and have Aspergers. I'll start by saying that when I was in my first year of high school, I was fairly outgoing because I was excited to meet new people and to be in new surroundings. Then, I suddenly became really shy for some reason and self conscious. I started acting really weird (or at least that's how it seemed) and this made everyone not want to talk to me, and so I was just a weirdo loner. I became really depressed and anxious, though I always felt better and more comfortable when I was finished for the day and out of the presence of students from my school.
When in my final year of high school, I looked up a few mental health disorders (depression, anxiety, etc). I told my dad that I thought I had these, but he said that he didn't think the symptoms applied to me and I couldn't really be diagnosed with them because I have Aspergers.
Just after that, I made friends with someone and, even though our friendship didn't last for that long, my self esteem has been higher ever since and I've (mostly) felt better in general.
But recently, I've felt that my dad isn't the saint I always though he was and that he is holding me back, and maybe emotionally manipulating me.
I still feel sad that I never get invited out anywhere, though I feel a little more connected than I used to. I've slept in the same bed as my dad since late high school, and sometimes he massages me, only occasionally do his hands ever so slightly reach my bum. My mum is a little freaked out about this. Sometimes my dad says I should get a job and even scolds me for not having had one yet, then sometimes he'll say how he'll be scared and miss me when I go out to work (speaking in a coddling, baby voice). I also feel bad about never tidying my bedroom, but I just don't have the motivation to do it.
Recently, I started cutting myself. My dad almost always notices when I do it, but I just make an excuse to make out it was an accident (though we both know the truth).
On mornings on weekends, I stay in bed thinking about things until about 2-3pm. Dad says I'm lazy and how I never seem to be enthusiastic about anything. He scolds me because he "waits for hours" for me to get up and join him in the kitchen and he misses me. This makes me feel really guilty, but also makes me feel angry at him for not finding something to occupy himself with, since he's 37 years old and he's meant to look after me, not the opposite way round!
Every day after college has finished, he says how he's missed me loads and has been waiting all day for me to call and say I've finished.
One time recently, he started slamming doors and banging things and shouting because he was upset (this has happened a few times before) that I had taken too long get out of bed. I started crying. He went out to the car and slammed the door open and closed over and over again, which broke the window. I started banging my head against random things and made cuts on my arm.
When he came back in, he was crying and brought me downstairs into the kitchen. He then noticed my head and started crying and yelling things at me like: "OH MY GOD!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONEEEE TO YOUR HEADDD!!!!????? PLEASE TELL MEEEE!!!! THERE'S BLOOD MATTED IN YOUR HAIRRRR!!!! YOU'VE GOT BLOOD RUNNNNNING DOWN YOUR FOREHEAD!!!!!". He was over-exxagerating, as I only had a bruise and some tiny sore dots on my head. I wasn't answering his questions, though he should have known the answer really. He said he didn't want me going into college the next day, as they would call social services.
I've told my mum all this, and she reckons he's emotionally abusing me. I'm not sure, since my mum is very good at manipulating people, and I think she's a psychopath/sociopath.

Neb you obviously have a very close relationship with your father. Can you tell me a couple of things and I may be able to help you more.

I understand you have finished school and are now in college. How are you going in college, what are you studying and what are your goals?

Your Dad and Mum had you when they were young ( I am guessing on your Mum) . Were they studying at the time, and what has you Dad gone on to do?

You say you have been sleeping in your Dad's bed for the last few years, which room does your Mum sleep in? Are your parents living separate lives under the one roof?

Let us know, it will paint a clearer picture.

Thanks.

I'm doing good in college thanks I've been studying Media Production for nearly 3 years and I'd like one day to make a living in the moving image industry.
Yeah, my mum was 18, and my dad 19, when they had me. My mum was home school when she was young, but wasn't in education when she had me. My dad wasn't in education, but has been a freelance mechanic since the age of 12. My dad and I moved out of my mum's house about 5 years ago and we now live 4 doors down from her. I go to see her sometimes, and it was recently I said to her about dad.
I should also add, I often feel uncomfortable around my dad, as if he's about to get angry, or that I've done something wrong but he's not saying. He also praises me constantly, but so much so that the praise has no meaning now.
Don't get me wrong, he's a lovely person/father, but just very emotionally dependent on me and maybe emotionally abusive, as my mum says. She also feels that he is partially responsible for my social isolation and shyness.
Dad always makes comments about my mum such as: "You're too good for her.", "She's lucky to be able to walk down the road with you and call you her son!".

I'm doing good in college thanks I've been studying Media Production for nearly 3 years and I'd like one day to make a living in the moving image industry.
Yeah, my mum was 18, and my dad 19, when they had me. My mum was home school when she was young, but wasn't in education when she had me. My dad wasn't in education, but has been a freelance mechanic since the age of 12. My dad and I moved out of my mum's house about 5 years ago and we now live 4 doors down from her. I go to see her sometimes, and it was recently I said to her about dad.
I should also add, I often feel uncomfortable around my dad, as if he's about to get angry, or that I've done something wrong but he's not saying. He also praises me constantly, but so much so that the praise has no meaning now.
Don't get me wrong, he's a lovely person/father, but just very emotionally dependent on me and maybe emotionally abusive, as my mum says. She also feels that he is partially responsible for my social isolation and shyness.
Dad always makes comments about my mum such as: "You're too good for her.", "She's lucky to be able to walk down the road with you and call you her son!".
He once also said to me: "I'll break your f***ing arm!", though I won't go into details in this post about why he said that.

This is out of my area of expertise, but the reality is almost everyone who drops in here has a unique problem.

It is great you dad is close to you, but at some point the two of you need to develop your own lives more. It may have been the fact that he was a father when very young and that his marriage did not last that has made him clingy (for want of a better word). You are in college, appear to be doing well, so I think he deserves a pass mark for that (probably a credit +).

For you to reach your potential though you are now at an age where you need to make new friends, make mistakes (hopefully very few and small ones), learn from those mistakes and get the skills required for making a life for yourself.

So in answer to your question, is it abuse, I don't think so. May it hold you back from being as happy as you might eventually be, yes it might.

The steps forward however come from you, not your Dad. So .. how do you plan to move forward.