Is my dad emotionally abusing me and my sister?

Hey guys,
So I've had a lot of problems with my parents throughout the years (I am 16), but a couple days ago I reached breaking point. Here are my reasons. (btw, Chrissy is my 14-year-old sister)

-my dad used to back us (me and my sister) up against walls and yell at us (not at the same time)
-he takes things away from us if he does not like the when we use them (ex. a book that is being read when homework should be getting done, even if there is none to do)
-he controls all the money in the house and won`t give my sister or I our allowances unless we fill out a full-scale ledger showing exactly what we purchased and when
-has control over mine and my sister`s bank cards
-he goes into a full-out rage if we close a door to hard or do things a way he doesn`t like them (he has physically hurt me doing this, before)
-he refuses to accept our mistakes and punishes us for them
-he has to know where we are at all times
-he bullies my sister at the dinner table
-he has the final say in everything, doesn`t matter what it is
-has a plan for me to become a successful scientist or business woman but didn`t tell me that until recently even though he`d been conditioning me to become one since I entered grade 6 (and by conditioning I mean he manipulated me into taking certain courses up until this year)
-if you try to talk to him about something he will tell you that your tactics with dealing with things are stupid and you don`t need friends
-he treats me like an 8-year-old, as though I don`t know any better
-he blames everything on my sister and I; he is NEVER WRONG
-he manipulates my mum into thinking that he is always right and that she should be unsympathetic to us
-whenever he hurts us he tells us that we are pouting or mock us with "Oh what a hard life you lead"
-I used to be able to confide in my mum, but I can no longer trust her because she tells dad everything
-dad always has to be in the room with mum when she`s changing for work
-he uses love as an excuse for everything he does to the family
-he comes into our rooms uninvited and without knocking (even at 2 in the morning) and yells at us if we`re not sleeping
-if we hurt him at all, he will give us the silent treatment and avoid us for 2-5 days
-mum has also kicked me out into the snow before without shoes on
-when I asked him for more independence, he accused me of not wanting to be part of the family anymore and pushed me away
-he swears at us and breaks his own rules
-he doesn`t let my sister or I keep our electronic (phones/computers) in our rooms at night
-dad makes everybody think that his problems are their fault
-he convinced me that I wouldn`t be able to make it on my own away from home in university

My sister and I have learned to conform to these things by agreeing with everything dad says. We have learned what we can and can`t do around him. She`s hasn`t been yelled at as much as I have in the past, but has developed a tough skin because of dad`s verbal assaults. I`m more sensitive because dad has been attacking my self-esteem by yelling a lot through my childhood.
A couple days ago, when my mum told me that I was causing dysfunction to the family (which is not at all like her, but she`s changed a lot in the past few years), I finally snapped. I had wanted to leave during the last Christmas break, but I had nowhere to go and no money, either. He tried to take away the first real thing that is making me feel alive and worth something - theater. Theater is my life, I $#%^ you not.
I want so badly to move out. I`ve talked to my friend and an elder at my church about it, and they both say that leaving is a good idea. I have everything sorted out; money, place, whatever. The only problem is that my sister no longer wants to leave. She thinks she has everything that she needs. You see, it used to be the other way around - she wanted so badly to leave and I wanted to stay and wait it out. I have one and a half more years until I start University and can move into residence there. But that`s a long time and the remorse and pain that I feel at home because of my dad is killing me. I`ve been self-harming for just shy of a year, now. It`s hard for me to be home.
But I`m not sure if I`m exaggerating and being spoiled, like my dad told me I was, or if I`m actually starting to see reason.
Help??

Yes your dad is a control freak
& uses fear/ intimidation/ manipulation to rule you all in the household.

You are very right to get out & as quick as you can
He is destroying you with lies/ intimidation & out right cruelty

He will not change nor will your mum . She is either to scared or to messed up also to leave him

He would hold the same manipulation over her to- your mum . Making her believe his lies .
Just as he hurts you / abuses u / he would be doing the same with her probably ever since he met her .
He would also have control over her life as well.
He treats you all like s*it..
And that is deliberate . He rules your current household with fear & cruelty.
He won't change as he would see what he is doing as nothing wrong.

Your only hope is to get away from him especially & your mum also
YOu are correct don't tell them any thing ( she would tell him ) & it might be out of fear of him hurting her in some way.
You have an out maybe ( take it ) . Talk to your sis though if you decide to
(tell her what you are planning ) = eg- that your leaving
Tell her the truth . Tell her that it is killing you inside to remain in that home ( it is hurting you alot emotionally ) & you have to get out
Get your self maybe out of that home & get your self right again inside with some counselling help & support
Tell your sis you can try & come back & get her if possible if she wants in the future..give her hope also that she can get away to if need be
You are hurting yourself bc of the unhappiness u feel inside . It's not good for you to live there any longer
Just note though if you do leave ( you might not be able to see your family again )
He will stop them seeing you ( this will hurt you alot )
He will cut you off bc he will tell them not to talk to u again
You will be on your own ..& you won't be able to go back home ( do know this also )
So take any thing precious with you eg- phot's is you do leave as you mighten get to see them again for quite awile
He will be mean & mad with the loss of control over you if you were to leave...
And will punish you by stopping them seeing you if possible ..
** hugs** ..

Tough place to be in right now for you having to try & protect & care for yourself & also not wanting to leave your little sis behind either
But you also have a right to look after you too right now ..
Ask her if she wants to go with you ..(all you can do & leave then ) when your ready
(you will feel guilty & horrible for leaving her ) but remember she choose what she did
Tell her if she needs you for her to find a way to reach you & tell you..
Eg- leave a message at her school privately with a number on it to reach you if needed ..
Tell her when your right you can help her also get out when she is ready to leave also ..


if she won't /can't leave this is her 'choice'
To remain in that home for over another yr ..Won't be good for you ..