Coaching a child to make sexual accusations

Please see How to talk to a child

I am very trouble when my granddaughter shares her secrets and would appreciate any suggestions on how to respond

or

It I should respond

Thank You

I'm sorry you've had no responses.

I think if you were to elaborate alittle, without being graphic, unless in a pm to a mod, that this is a hard question to answer, as I personally don't know, or can't imagine the secret she tells you.

If she is in harm, help her. I have never hesitated to call the authorities on my own family when abuse is taking place. It 's the children I am concerned for. They can't help themselves. They need an advocate.

If it is other types of secrets, that is where the graphic message might be inappropriate in the open forum. WE have new rules on graphic details and site seekers. So let us help you,, discreetly.

When I suspected some abuse (mental) was done to my daughter, I asked her, Can you share with me about the day that you and your cousin were playing with the kitty? Then I continued to say "And what happened next?" Until I got the story from her. So much came out. It was hardest when I asked her to repeat the story to her Dad. She told she didnt want to and I asked her why. She said because it made her sad.

You do have to be very careful but also have a conversation with her privately where there are no distractions and you are looking her in the eye. Tell her the "Dont talk to strangers talk" (the one that covers all areas) and talk about what appropriate interaction between adult and child are. Tell her that the abuse from any adult to a child is unacceptable, regardless of the relationship or threats and it is very important that if she knows of any little girl or boy being hurt, even if it is her, she needs to tell someone she trusts right away, recommending yourself at this point and a teacher, ect., and tell her that this is the only way to make it stop forever.

There are ways to build her confidence for this. Do the "What do you do when _____ (insert situation)." It is recommended that you practice techniques on how to get away from a kidnapper. I encourage my children to scream, run, scream at the stranger to go away and that they are not there mom or dad (a good one becasue my DD was putting her "stop" hand/arm straight out. she learned real quick that it could be grabbed.) And there are new techinques that when all this fails and you are being grabbed, go limp, arms up, slip from their grasp, and wrap their arms tightly around one leg and legs tightly around the other of the attacker while screaming (Think bratty kid in the store when they cant get what they want from mom or dad). The kidnapper can not move or pull the child from them. When they try, it puts them into a situation that allows the child to get up and run away.

Also, if you suspect abuse, make an appointment to see your own doctor. Talk to her/him privately so your Gdaughter doesnt hear.

good luck.

Good advice,


Here is a link to a website that can help you too:

http://www.childabuseprevention.org/Abu ... _abuse.php