Bullying through sabotage

When I was younger I experienced a different kind of bullying.. the usual physical stuff, having gum put in my hair, getting shoved around and beaten up, or being yelled at by someone at the top of their lungs while they threaten to beat the hell out of you.

I'm older now, and am facing a somewhat new (to me) form of bullying.

The best way to describe it is like how someone befriends you, finds out what they can about you that might be embarrassing or otherwise hurtful, then uses that information to their advantage or sociopathic pleasure. Other women (and maybe some guys) here may relate to this kind of bullying.

Another kind of bullying is where someone close to you uses relentless manipulation in order to try and control you. This is much easier to walk away from.

It's the other that terrifies me. I feel defenseless to stop it.

I am entagled with the "sabotage" kind of bully today and just yesterday caught myself saying out of nowhere, please have mercy on me. I think you're smart, I respect you.. just have mercy. Her response was to more or less disregard what I was saying and asked about one of my other roommates. She knows something about me that not everyone would know, and which would be potentially very hurtful if it were to get out.

What do I do? I feel like I am completely defenseless against her. One wrong move and I'm toast.

Gritsandsweettea, is there any way that you can get this person out of your life? I had a friend who used information she knew about me, and spread it like wildfire and I just stopped associating with her. Unfortunately, to this day, I don't think she fully understands what it was she did, but it got me out of the situation(s).

If you find you are actually being sabbotaged find another intelligent bully, pit the two against each other, as soon as they get consumed by their distraction, walk away. Or just show everyone the evidence of what they're doing to you.

I'm sure I've had people socially sabbotage me before. I paid so little attention to it though because I don't really give a ###$ what people think of me unless it causes me inconvenience. Considering I never had anything to lose in the first place because I was never capable of building anything, I didn't pay much attention.

Sometimes i feel like people are trying to distract me from my recovery efforts though by poking and prodding me to try to tell me its all in my ego really and I just want to think there are things wrong with me that there aren't. It would be nice if that were true in some ways, (though in others not.)

TROJAN wrote:Gritsandsweettea, is there any way that you can get this person out of your life? I had a friend who used information she knew about me, and spread it like wildfire and I just stopped associating with her. Unfortunately, to this day, I don't think she fully understands what it was she did, but it got me out of the situation(s).

There are two, one is a neighbor, the other is a new roommate who is now emerging as a threat. I just learned that person one has now been in contact with person two, so they are talking. They have a very common interest with one another, it is unlikely that I will outwit either, or pit them against one another. Even if I could essentially "bully" them into hating each other.. I wouldn't. It has to stop with me.

The new roommate has officially made it onto my list of people never to trust or associate with. They were as sweet as could be prior to move in. I wish I had one of those bug detectors wand thingies that detected problem people. I inadvertently invited one of them to live with me. This one seemed a little mopey at first, but is now beginning to reveal their angry, spiteful side. It's coming right out in the open. I have warned that I will not tolerate being on the receiving end of any kind of outburst, but that only protects me against being yelled at.

Solving one problem is only slightly less difficult than the other (the roommate) but that will invite even greater bullying from the second person.

I'm in over my head here.