Can bullying be warranted?

Does whether bullies have high or low confidence make a difference to whether its warranted? The only reason "bullying" of any sort(quotes because it wouldn't count as bullying exactly then,) would seem warranted among a group of people would be if the victim was actively harming others.

Generally I think psychology says the problem is with the bully, and people vulnerable as victims tend to stand out to them. This is basically where the bully finds something they can "get their teeth into" in the victim, or where the victim reminds them of/forces them to see something unpleasant in them self they want to squash.

I'm not sure how those things could be seen as "warranted", but they do tell you that improving self-esteem goes a long way to protecting yourself from it.

Maybe I'm beginning to understand you, Dice. I'm guessing you want to protect yourself from ever being bullied again by distancing yourself from the "target / victim" stereotype. You think that by looking / behaving differently to this stereotype, you won't be bullied.

People think this way about rape as well. They think that if a young woman is walking around wearing skimpy clothes, she is almost asking for it. In fact, rapists tend to avoid women like this, because they're often fairly tough. Rapists go for women they think they can easily overpower, and these women tend to be conservatively dressed. I read a study about this stuff on the internet. You can probably find it easily enough.

This kind of thinking is ultimately motivated by fear and a desire for protection. It gives people a sense of control - if I don't act this way, it won't happen to me.

Do read up on anti-bullying tips. Good luck

Maybe. I don't know what your case is, but here, I think my bullying is clearly a result of the fact I am different than my other classmates. Thus, logic dictates, if I were to put in the effort to fit in, I would be respected.

Since my bullies are all more popular and socially adept than myself, clearly, "envy" and "jealousy", as that article suggests, cannot possibly be that cause.

Can someone respond to my thread here:

bullying/topic95639.html

The bullies may be more popular and socially adept (in the aggressive school environment at least), but are they more intelligent? Witty? Good looking? Perhaps you come from a wealthier background. People can be jealous of almost anything.

Being different doesn't automatically mean bad. Personally I like people who are a bit different, a bit quirky or eccentric. They're much less likely to be assholes!

dice3510 wrote:Being the omega male I am, I've been the object of a great deal of verbal bullying in the past few years (I am in high school). The purpose of this thread isn't to gain sympathy from the reader, so don't bother tapping me on the shoulder telling me that I should be strong and whatever.

Until recently, I was shy beyond stupidity, extremely awkward, and all this manifested in extraordinarily defensive body language (walking with my head down, avoiding eye contact, speaking quietly, etc). In short, I was odd.

Partially, not entirely, that I ended up like this was my fault. I withdrew from society intentionally when I was 12 - I was not rejected, in fact, I was actively sought after by my friends. It was my, free, decision. Also, I never participated in any sports for years so I became physically fragile.

Still, I had extremely bad growing-up, psychologically abusive mother, parental fights, etc. I, myself, have attracted a few mental illnesses myself as a consequence and even spent a month in a mental hospital last year.

Still, however, the fact that I almost intentionally chose to be a social outcast, is my - or anyone who makes similar choices - suffering warranted? If you want to be respected, you need to be willing to put in the effort to fit in, one which I never did. Though I am working to change this.

NO bullying can NEVER be warranted! Just because someone is shy or viewed as weak does not mean anyone has a right to abuse them. If someone wants to withdraw from society they have every right to do so without being abused by any other person. By the logic of bullying being warranted, anyone who is different from the social norm has a right to be treated with disdain. This is not how a civilized society behaves.

We all have the right to be different. Just because you are different does not make you weak. Just because you are shy does not mean you should have a target on your back.

When I was a kid and later a teen I was that small, shy, timid kid that always tried to avoid being noticed. I was constantly moving to different places so I was always the new kid. I was very shy and didn't know how to make friends. That made me an easy target. I rarely stood up for myself ad carried inside me the shame of feeling like weak, pathetic, worthless coward. I wanted so badly to fit in. To be strong like the other kids so I wouldn't be made fun of. In my later teens I tried to be that person. I pretended to be someone I wasn't. At times I even turned into the bully that I hated when I was younger. I would pick on someone for being what I saw as weak. I would join in when other singled someone out. I did it so I myself wouldn't be picked on. I turned into the very person who made me miserable. I realized this wasn't who I was and hated myself even more. When I tried to change myself so I wouldn't be a target I lost sense of who I really was.

I was different. There is nothing wrong with that. Not everyone is the strong, tough macho alpha male. Those who we think are usually are themselves pretending, putting up a front to hide their own insecurities.

Don't change who you are just to belong. You have to find a way to be happy with who you are. It's not your fault you were bullied. It's the fault of the bullies.

Actually, I think dice has some good points.

Bullies are not always insecure (in my experience, most of them are, but some are not). Some of them just like doing it for pleasure. It's still sick and it has to be stopped.

I disagree though with dice's opinion that bullying is warranted. Just because it's a natural part of our evolution doesn't mean it's right. Eating meat is a natural part of evolution. Doesn't mean it's right.

Also, I was the same as dice when I was young. I purposely isolated myself. People hated me because I was a loner, which I found to be sickening. Just because I don't like socializing doesn't mean that I'm a bad person or a crazed loon. What's even more sickening is that these people who were making jokes about me were teenagers. They should have been old enough to know better. But in any case, it doesn't matter. They never did any real damage, they just made fun of me.

Bullying is never warranted...

...unless I'm the victim. Or the victim himself is a bully, or is plain ugly. (obvious joke's obvious)

Other than that, bullying is not warranted.