Combating and Preventing Bullying

This could be an article in itself.

The reasons why I was such an easy target are because I am quite introverted, too easygoing, hate confrontation and don’t conform to the personality culture. Having uncommon hobbies or interests doesn’t help either. Also when in school if you are not in a large gang you will get bullied. This occurs in the workplace if you are not in a dominant faction.

Prevention :

Signs of a Bad Workplace :

1. Someone (like the workplace bully) tells you when you start your new job : “Don’t worry. Just give us time and we’ll all be bitching about you.” My recommendation is to immediately leave as it is going to be workplace hell!
2. Very high staff turnover with temps leaving on their first or second day.
3. Someone is taking about all the temps, trainees and permanent staff who left as if they are losers (I hate using this word).
4. Meetings are used as a major bitch session by most staff against an employee or someone who has left the company.
5. You notice backstabbing and infighting, such as shouting and temper flare-ups between staff.
6. Meetings are hijacked or held about non-work related issues like the TV show “Big Brother” for example.
7. The trainee trains other trainees as no one else could be bothered.
8. With-holding information so someone can’t do their job effectively, only to have them fired for being “incompetent”.
9. You find out that your manager or supervisor or co-worker loves having it over people as they are the Union Representative or the cleverest at social manipulation. Just like Adolph Hitler people initially swept away by their charisma until its too late and resistance is quite risky if not futile.
10. Your manager or supervisor or co-worker/s constantly lie to cover up their mistakes and or blame shift onto others and claims the credit for someone else’s work well done.
11. Staff are patronizing to their customers.
12. Your colleagues are quite opinionated and judgemental and start taking this out on you.

From my own personal experience I have found that at least two of these things occurred within the first 8 working days when working in toxic workplaces and I wish I had quit sooner instead of being a mug, because of lack of jobs or money.

Also I found this a great way to identify potential workplace hellholes before I start working with them. I researched my next job by going onto Australian Securities and Investments Commission’s website and doing a company name search and if I saw that the company I was offered to work for has a dodgy history such as charges brought against the company or notice of administrators – I Avoid It!
Unfortunately this won’t do government departments only private companies.


Combating Bullying :

However I have discovered other ways to combat this common problem :
For school bullying get police reports on two occasions then see a lawyer to send a stiff letter to school threatening legal action.

For workplace bullying I’ve found these two effective when I left workplace hell holes. I told my boss – a relative has got me another better paying job. Also on another occasion I had a narcissistic sociopath threaten to call and tell Centrelink I was a dole bludger. I replied just go ahead, make my day, I’ve got investments to live off. That alone had him gritting his teeth as he couldn’t enjoy having it over me. I was relieved when I got another job soon after.

Lastly I don’t recommend this method at all! It was a very last resort when my reputation has been completely annihilated by a persistent nasty backstabber, despite my efforts to work with and get along with others. Using a dictaphone I taped all her backstabbing sessions and then later played them all back to her victims individually in quiet after I learnt I was fired. That stirred up a hornet’s nest.

The above has been my own experiences and observations.
My recommendations are :

1. Don’t get into fights as they only make people more determined to dislike or hate you no matter who wins.
2. Get out quickly before psychological damage occurs such as loss of confidence, social phobia, anxiety and depression.
3. Definitely outsmart or undermine their power base, so you regain control. The Dictaphone method I used before did work for me on that occasion, but I still don’t recommend it as it can backfire badly!

In May 2005 Catalyst TV programme from the Australian Broadcasting Corporation had a show on Corporate Psychopaths. A link is from abc.net.au website below :
http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/s1360571.htm

More on identifying and dealing with narcissists are below : http://groups.msn.com/NarcissismSupport ... links.msnw

http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/narcissi ... klist.html
http://www.sott.net/ Then search their archives for – Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation.
These links are old but may still work.

I encourage other people who have beaten bullying to please share their success stories. I hope this helps.

Good for you for overcoming the bullying and for trying to help others, Eagle.

I agree. No tolerance. When I am watching kids, I am very quick to stop bullying. Most parents on the playground are not.
When something happens to my little one, I am all over the school.
By the way, my oldest is a weightlifter and a boxer and never started a fight in his life - but has never lost a fight. Quick hands.
But my youngest is tiny and female and should not have to put up with boys twice her size picking on her. I go crazy. The school - any school worth anything - will respond quickly to reports of bullying. Never ever hesitate. Act quickly and make a scene. Get their attention and they will shut it down.

No tolerance ever,

BUZZman