What To Do If Your Child Gets Bullied

It's not a good idea to make up threats you don't plan to carry out like setting a bullies house on fire and shooting their family. First of all let make note of the fact that John Gotti's family may not have been subjected to a lot of bullying as children, but quite a few of them ended being buried as landfill with lots of bullet holes in them. The more you depend on extreme intimidation to control the behavior of other people the more people are going to regard you as a serious threat to their survival which they will try to eliminate whenever they get the opportunity. There's no point in being afraid of somebody like Hitler or Osama Bin Ladin whom you believe is a maniac who's probably going murder you someday no matter what you do. We all have a right to self-defense. My old man was a Marine D.I. who taught me never to point a gun at anybody if you didn't plan to use it. It undermines your credibility if you make phony threats and makes you more at risk of becoming a target for preemptive attacks,

I had some kids bullying me back in high school. I brought a dead cat I found to school in my lunch bag. The word got around about that very fast and nobody ever bullied me again. No threats were made. It wasn't necessary for me to say a word. There was nothing anybody could have filed legal charges on me for doing either, let me add, unlike threatening to murder somebody's family.

My niece recently had the teenage brother of a friend of hers threaten her with a gun. She told her mother and older sister. They went to see the boy's family. The kid said the gun wasn't loaded, the
mother blew it off as a joke, and said the boy's father the gun belonged to who lived in a separate apartment was asleep and my sister couldn't talk to him. Hitting that stone wall, she simply reported the matter to the Dallas Police who put out an arrest warrant for the kid on a 2nd degree felony.

A bully wont seek to bully someone from whom a physical threat exists. They'll go in search of easier prey. We need to start giving useful realistic advice to our kids. Not 'go tell a teacher.' That's not how it works in the real world, and useless when face to face with your tormentor. We need to teach kids to hit back, or even preemptively when a bully picks them out to be bullied. Swift kick to the groin, or punch to the nose or jaw will disuade just about everybody young or old. And the bully will quickly discover this is not prey.

Additionally, parents need to realize that contacting the school wont get it done as they're not law enforcement. Bullying as goes on today is very much a criminal matter and should be treated like other criminal matters by reporting it to the police, not the school.

Additionally (woulda edited but got dc'd) the interaction between a bully and their victim is the same as we see in other animals in predator-prey interactions. When a predator seeks out prey to eat they go after what they're familar with. When they meet, typically prey seeks retreat, not conflict. This predicted behaviour causes the predator animal to pursue the prey animal even more because it's doing what it expects food to do. When it encounters unfamilar animals who don't retreat, thus acting liek food, often the predator will end up retreating. Just because humans are more complicated than other animals, doesn't mean we don't follow the same rules governing behaviours. If a bully's victim cowers or retreats it's only inadvertantly encouraging the bully. If the would-be victim lashes out, the bully may attack as well, but he wont regard to victims as prey any longer. We've seen this in the wild with great white sharks of all things. Divers who act aggressively swimming TOWARDS the shark will scare them off. Prey of the sharks don't do that so it's an unexpected action. And like all predators, if their ability to catch and consume prey is lost or damaged they don't eat so retreat is preferred. Works with human bullies as well.

As someone who has been bullied in the past I have joined this website in hope that I can prevent any other child to ever feel or go through what I went though, I have attempted many suicides during the bullying days and was an obsessive self-harmer, when I look back at my younger self I am shocked at the person I was then, right now I am a strong confident woman and I can easily say I am not afraid of anybody. If any parents are reading this with children who are being bullied my one piece of advice would be to remove your child from this situation ie; move school, move house, move clubs/hobby groups, do not expect your child to listen to a motivational speech from you and be able to confront and conquer the bully/ies , it will not work, and as far as 'youre running away from your fears' goes, forget that, giving them a new opportunity will make them stronger.

Yeah, no offense, but teach your kid self defense? I'm tired of all this #######4 advice I see on T.V. by a bunch of people who don't know $#%^ about the whole bullying situation. The only way to beat a bully, is to beat a bully. Sometimes, they even befriend you for it.

If you are a child who is getting bullied, let your parents and teachers know.

When I was young and small for my age, I didn't back down from anyone. (I'm a girl.)
My older brother taught me how to box.
When I was harassed and or hurt (one boy threw a baseball at my stomach
at point blank range on purpose), I punched the boys in the mouth, and it worked.
The boy who threw the baseball went whining to the principal and showed him
his bloody nose. When he heard what had happened, he said You deserved it.
They never touched me again. I was never bullied again.

The problem is... that's how it worked 50 years ago. Sadly, I don't think this works nowadays. It's likely those boys these days would have come back with a knife or gun.

So get adults to confront the bullies and their parents.

Good advice, but try to see it from the kid's point of view: that the bully will hurt them in more than one way if they tell. Not to mention that many of us are fighters and will go down fighting. It's something that should not be done by an adult. This is their fight. So pay attention, but deal with the situation as quiet;y as possible.

It wont happen to all your bullies, but when i was in grade i was bullied fairly hard, it was the same guy from elementary to high school and the schools did nothing as far as punishment for his harassment, but eventually karma caught up to him and during my junior year he was in a fatal car crash. Then the following day there was a moment of silence for him at the school during the silence i laughed so hard since i was finally free of his harassment. It was a shock for my peers and afterward no one ever spoke to me again and i was able to finish HS in peace. Also i got detention for making noise during the moment of silence but it was well worth it.

I used to be bullied at school. It is important NOT to tell the victim to "just get over it, ignore the bullies". School plays an important role in the development of a child's personality, confidence, character and morals; and bullying can drastically affect the victim's academic grades (and future status). I think, in general, parents need to take responsibility in trying to FIX the problem in a proactive way.

One thing I have learnt from bullies, is that most people ONLY want to know others who "can provide them with something" (harsh lesson for me but true). What does this crazy sentence mean, you might be asking? Well, does the victim of bullying have something worthy to contribute to society, for example: does the victim participate actively and well in school sporting activities; does the victim have a talent for anything that may entertain others; does the victim frequently offer useful advice or have anything profoundly interesting to say to others? Parents should be asking themselves "is their child generally seen as being the worst, of one of the worst, at practically everything?" For example, the child can't swim; the child can't do cool things such as surfing or snowboarding; the child wears cheap and unfashionable clothing; the child can't give a speech presentation in class; the child can't catch a ball, etc.

Most often, bullies choose a shy or unintimidating person to pick on. Bullies tend to target those who lack confidence or authority to express themselves with intelligence and assertiveness. I personally think that victims of bullying should, everyday, be watching the news or reading newspapers (otherwise, they will have very little to talk about). If the victim lacks English skills, the victim should get a tutor or seek special help; it is good for them to also learn new words every day from a reliable dictionary (this will at least help them later on in life).

I think it is especially important, for those who dread school, to find a social life outside of school. It is important that parents do NOT let their children succumb to a menial existence of mostly school, studying, watching TV, eating junk food, sleeping, and staying home during the weekends and school holidays. I think children should be made to exercise at least 30 minutes every day; I mean proper exercises such as sit-ups, squats, push ups, weight training, running and other intense aerobic activity (this might have prevented me from hiding in the toilets during mandatory events at school sports carnivals).

I believe there are a few rare, unfortunate, incidences whereby the victim of bullying is an outstanding person who could very easily make friends if given the opportunity to attend another school. It makes me sick-to-my-stomach that bullies are often the most popular people in school who also are held in high regard by teachers. Sometimes teachers tell parents that the victim of bullying is being paranoid, has a social disorder, needs to see a psychologist, etc. Often teachers haven't properly witnessed the full extent of the bullying, don't have the complete details (bullies often lie and victims tend to "down-play" the incident), or the adequate psychological training to deal with these issues.

What should someone do if their child is special needs and gets bullied? The child may not realize they are being bullied and the bullies may take advantage of that.

What is the schools responsibility when a situation like this occurs?