bullied till i got bdd

Many years ago I was ok with the way I looked. However I was constantly called ugly
by class mates in elementary school. It would go in one ear and out another. One day when
I was about to turn 13, i started to think i was a hideous monstrosity. Eventually I
began crying every day, and using bandanas, masks and bandages to cover my face. Many
times I did not want to leave the house.

I was labeled with BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) by a psychiatrist.

I eventually started creating self help work sheets for myself. This helped allot. I
will be posting some self help work sheets soon, for you all to use. Later at age 19 I
relapsed and started to feel so ugly it was beyond repair, where in the past i just
blamed certain features my nose in particular.

At age 20 I had a nose job. Even though psychiatrist said i would not be satisfied
because i had BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) . I was it helped my self esteem allot.
However I did get an infection in my face, that made me very ill for years. At one point
i could hear a crunching sound in my face the bacterial infection was so bad.

I would prefer not not wear the bdd (body dysmorphic disorder) label. Some things the
psychiatrist was right about, others things she was not.

In my opinion, plastic surgery should not be the first option. Learning to love your
features should come first. A prominent nose is not a deformity as the plastic surgeon
put in his file. It is simple facial feature, a long bumpy hooked nose. However making
some one feel they are so crazy they will not like the surgery results is wrong to which
is what the psychiatrist did..

I remember comparing my face to magazine models. They had light eyes like me, maybe
a face shape like me but never ever a nose like mine. MY nose was not the standard of
beauty.