After years of being bullied, will it stop?!

Wow, I have a lot to write here...

Well I was first bullied in my second year at primary school, aged only 5. It wasn't just insults and rejection, it was physical as well. Sometimes as the school bell would ring for the end of break someone would shove me on the floor. Sometimes I would trip over and have people rub over my back. Other times it was just constant rejection.

Once, when I was 9, someone who was one of my best friends dragged me across the floor whilst I was screaming, the deputy head had to stop him.

This pattern continued for many years all the way until I was 11, but it didn't entirely stop. I gained more respect from other people after getting into a grammar school (I'm not just boasting, this is genuinely when it stopped), but the insults and rejection didn't stop.

The worst thing is, the school refused to believe that any of this was happening. They new I was always alone, but always said that no bullying ever happened.

Now as I move into my third year of secondary school, I don't know whether it has stopped. I can't tell whether insults are 'friendly' or not. I still have very few friends, but it has got to the point where I am no longer interested in making any.

A lot of the insults stem from the fact that I do not follow the social norms. Just because most are doing something won't make me do it.

Now the problem is I don't trust anybody. Every move someone makes I assume is to hurt me, I search for an insult in everything people say to me, even teachers. Even my friends aren't fully trusted.

Now during the day I sometimes have flashbacks of the events in particular the event when I was 4 and the event when I was 9 which are described above. I resent group work and social activities unfortunately I am sat next to one of the people who still insults me during form.

Thankfully I am not afraid to tell teachers about what is happening and ignore the hate afterwards, but it doesn't stop it in the long run (especially since I got someone a detention), but never have I retaliated and I honestly dont think that it would help anyway.

So please, could someone who has gone through something simmilar give me advice, it would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance for any replies.