I hate the world and want to kill people. *may trigger*

This problem started when I started middle school. See, I was a shy, weak, puny, and small kid, and still am kind of. So because of that, I was bullied. Now, many people who get bullied kill themselves, but I was different. I wanted to kill the bullies instead.
I could fight my bullies or ignore them or tell someone, but my bullies are not normal bullies. They often times act gangster, or ghetto and are from trashy neighborhoods(seriously, houses near the school(s) are worse than Detroit 'hoods). One, I'm too weak to fight them.(I don't back out of standing up for myself, but I'm still unable to fight.) Two, you smart people should know why ignoring won't help. Three, you tell on them, you will be known as a snitch that will get stitches.
My bullying was bad, some people have had it worse, but still. After being bullied, my whole view changed. I hated society and the human race. I want to become a serial killer and end the human race. Everything about the human race is terrible. The stupidity, the negativity, etc. All the good humans suffer. Is this normal that I feel this way?
After bullying happens, I then want to kill them and start planning on the murder. Sometimes, I got really mad from the bullies, I even got to the point where I even almost beat them up and they weren't able to stop me, only a teacher did. I can't control my anger and I need help before I lose it. There's probably a low chance I'll do it, but I still feel like doing it. When I got bullied, I grabbed a knife and planned to use it, but I didn't and put the knife back. I hate how the world wants you to be perfect, but I don't want to be.
I'm scared to tell someone about all of this but I need help. I know you can't diagnose me with any mental illness, but I always wanted to know if I had one. I always thought I had a certain disorder, but I then realised I didn't and went to another one, and then back to that disorder. I need help but I couldn't get it. I can't control my anger and need help before I do something. Right now I hold the anger in, and letting it out never works. Discuss.

See, I was a shy, weak, puny, and small kid, and still am kind of.

Same, just that I'm a 20+ year old male. I can relate. I'm still shy, weak, puny. Stupid popular culture suggests to get buff, do this, that, play sports, etc. While all this is healthy, I just don't like how the representation of an ideal male should be. I spent the majority of my adolescence made to feel inferior just because I wasn't good at sport, was short, puny and all that. I've grown up now and I realise the many other talents that I have. I wish I had someone to tell me how intelligent I was.

All the good humans suffer. Is this normal that I feel this way?

I hope you are mature enough to understand my line of reasoning.

Yes, the good humans suffer. Throughout history, they've suffered. Being ignored, ostracized by society, etc. Galileo was in house arrest for a major part of his life. Gandhi was thrown out of a train. Many other great people you know may have been bullied and abused. This only goes to show the dumbness of some specimen of the human race. They realised it, you can realise it too. There are some good people out there, who will accept you for who you are. Being good is important, no matter how much the rest of the world is in the dumps. Hold your moral compass steady, and don't let it take a beating from others. You'll be proud of yourself one day.

I hated society and the human race. I want to become a serial killer and end the human race. Everything about the human race is terrible. The stupidity, the negativity, etc.

Same here. I can see that you are angry, and frustrated. Use this anger to do something good. You don't want to fall down to their level. My anger towards s**t pop culture, which gives so much importance to fame, physical appearance, strength is what gives me the edge to pursue some pretty impressive stuff. This anger is something that not all people have, so use it to your competitive edge.

When I got bullied, I grabbed a knife and planned to use it, but I didn't and put the knife back.

Be proud of yourself, you still have your conscience.

I'm scared to tell someone about all of this but I need help.

Ask for help from your parents. If they ignore it, like mine did, tell it to any of your teachers, or other relatives, or any of the adults, WHO CAN TAKE ACTION. Don't stop asking for help.

I always thought I had a certain disorder, but I then realised I didn't and went to another one, and then back to that disorder. I need help but I couldn't get it.

Why couldn't you get help?

Right now I hold the anger in, and letting it out never works.

How do you let your anger out?

This is the first time I've posted such a long message, so please forgive me if it wasn't constructive.