I'm ashamed of being bullied

It happened some 8-10 years ago, but I'm ashamed that I still suffer the consequences. It seems that I have AvPD now, and I'm ashamed of it. I'm a semi recluse, have people of my age all around me, but they must think I'm weird. I isolated myself to protect myself. And I just didn't sit at home, playing videogames and stuff. I learnt so many things, accomplished many technical stuff that normal people would struggle with. Just last year I realised I had an IQ of above 140. They were online tests, but confirmed my suspicions that I was highly intelligent. Not that I want to brag (unfortunately, it is seen as that.) Still, all these don't do anything to lift my self esteem.

This is just me rambling and ranting, sorry it isn't structured any way.

I'm ashamed of being bullied when I was a kid and a teen but that was decades ago. What happenned to you was almost a decade ago. We cant change the past, right? We shouldn't let it haunt us. It's not your fault you were bullied. Try to let go of the past and keep doing what you're doing. You seem to be on the right path especially with a high IQ. Be proud of yourself, give yourself credit where its due. Instead of being a total recluse you at least accomplish stuff. Who cares what people think. I wish I had your intelligence and some of your accomplishments. I have done nothing with my life. Find ways to expand your social circle. Surely there are others with your same interests. As long as you stand up for yourself now then you should really let go of the past.