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Am i getting bullied or do i overreact

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Am i getting bullied or do i overreact

Postby Tinkerbell33 » Mon Jun 26, 2017 1:24 pm

Hey there.
So this might be a little long however i need some advice to know that i am not overreacting. I started at a company a while ago and what i loved most was that they gave me flexibility with my kid. Having specif days off whenmy kid is not in childcare and being able to go of my kid needs to be picked up from childcare due to being sick. Everyone there is so nice and the policy is to be nice to eah other and treat each other with respect. However my boss does not seem to like me. I am a Manager and even if i have a kid i do work long hours and do everything that's needed. I have a young team and being a woman i needed to earn their respect in the beginning. I worked with another male manager and we got along amazingly bit he got transferred to another department and thats when everything went downhill. I started to work doubleshifts every weekend because there was no replacment for him yet. I never said a word but at one stage turned to my former colleague asking him if he knows when we find someone that i cant keep doing these hours. My boss pulled me up on this saying that i shouldnt bother that other guy that he has enough on his plate and is not responsible for me. That he is my boss as he is his boss and also that i should be careful what to write because sometimes it is stupid (totally unrelated to the topic). I was shocked but just took it and apologised. My boss is a very moody person. I address issues regarding the team to him and there were plenty especially with the young boys who seemed to have an issue to respect a female manager. He always said he is dealing with it but no one was really put in to place. He made changes withput telling me, left me out and when my staff was asking me i had to say that i dont know about that which didnt help with the respect. I kept on addressing issues and all i did get was that all i do is point fingers and just conplain. Maybe it is myself who needs to change. That i am basically being lazy. That everyone on the team has a problem with me (which is not true i asked them all one by oneand he never once approached them) one day again he made changes for the team without telling me and the other new manager (who he by the way likes, making jokes with each other and all i get is mean looks) and i got frustrated and said something. Also he wanted to have one on ones with everyone from the team and i was asking if he wants to cosult with me and the other manager to know how everyone is performing but he declined. He had a chat with me afterwards saying who i think i am.I dont need to explain myself to anyone, i am the boss. Do you really think i dont know when you talk behind my back about me. You wanted change i made change i dont need to consult you first or explain it, i am the boss You got to know with everyone else at briefing. I will do the one on one's with just them. Why would i sit down with you first to go through everyones development. I hired them i know how they are performing. You havent changed a bit from day one. Are stuck to your host desk. The girls have a problem with you as well, i know because i spoke to them.
All you do is point fingers, how about you step back and take a look at yourself. The boys changed because i nurtured him. I do work with people and get to know them, work on their mistakes.you dont do anything. I should help clean everything and then do cash up.
I was in tears while he spoke to me like this. Crying in front of him. He makes me so small and my whole confidence is lost as soon as he enters the room. The other day i made a wrong deciscon and instead of guiding me he just looked at me and said : you never listen. What did you think hey? Today i had to pick up my kid from childcare because it got sick ehich happened for the first time. I told him and all i got was a: do what you have to do but i have to let you know that i am not happy about this.
I left and cried in the car. I dont know what to do anymore.he is so nice to everyone else but me. Its how he is speaking to me. Its unreasonable and in a very mean tone of voice. He does it in front of peope but with a smile that everyone else thinks he is being nice. I dont know what to do...
Tinkerbell33
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