Bullied at workplaces

I'm an authority figure, but kind of a depressed one right now. I tend to let people walk all over me, then when I stand up for myself or call them on their crap, I get the crap kicked out of me, in a sense.

It's getting to a point where I'm ready to collapse in exhaustion. And I wonder if I'm being too hard on those I am confronting. They seem to feel hurt but then they hurt me more. I don't know if I'm right/wrong, etc.

I'm too tired and traumatized to get into any detail. Two clients were very harsh for me for like the fifth time. I called them each on it and they got vicious or cried. I threw my "the customer is always right" thing b/c I knew if I let them treat me that way it wasn't good for them. And I tried to balance nice-standing up for myself. It didn't matter. They couldn't handle me calling them out on their disrespect, no matter how sweetly I did it.

I feel very, very beat up. I'll just say one of my jobs is as an adult educator. These adults act like children, some of them....Generation "Me."

I have a terrible history of getting bullied when I'm depressed. In the winter esp Dec-Jan I tend to get bullied. Feb too. I try to lift myself out but it doesn't seem to work. My pdoc doesn't want to do anything with my meds.

I just have to wait this mood out. And that's fine. It's not that bad. But people are more likely to mess with me when I'm tired/off guard. I try all these skills that I use in therapy. The type of jobs I have involve having to deal with difficult, disturbed people. I try to tell myself it's not me but I'm scared....scared of losing jobs if I don't do whatever they want.

Anyway, can' t provide more details. Just needed to reach out.