Do i have emotional flashbacks?

I don't know if i have e-flashbacks, but very often i have feelings of being humliated. It starts off as a thought or an image in my head. These images are about me being bullied, but the things they do to me are little different from what happened to me in real life.

They are bullying me in my head, but the situation is different and their methods are different also. Many thing i imagine didn't happened to me in real life.

It's like the bullying did not end and it continues in my head and i can't stop it. And i have feelings of me being bullied as it's really happening and the images are also very strong. I feel angry, ashamed and my confidence is totally destroyed. Can i have cPTSD and e-flashbacks even though the images are different from what really happened to me?

CursedByApathy wrote:Many thing i imagine didn't happened to me in real life.

Are you sure?

justonemoreperson wrote:

CursedByApathy wrote:Many thing i imagine didn't happened to me in real life.

Are you sure?

Yes i am. why do you ask?

CursedByApathy wrote:

justonemoreperson wrote:

CursedByApathy wrote:Many thing i imagine didn't happened to me in real life.

Are you sure?

Yes i am. why do you ask?

People don't remember things objectively. Over time, the memories become distorted and alter based on how they affected you when they happened and how you rationalise them as you look back.
Two people would be able to describe the same event and come up with two very different accounts.

Before you assume that you're imagining things that didn't happen, is it possible that the imagined bullying is actually an accurate description of what has happened and your memories have been "dampened" to protect yourself from the true nature of the bullying?

Failing that, maybe subconsciously you believe that you deserved the treatment and your brain is using the imagined scenes to act as the punishment your subconscious thinks you deserve.

justonemoreperson wrote:

CursedByApathy wrote:

justonemoreperson wrote:
Are you sure?

Yes i am. why do you ask?

People don't remember things objectively. Over time, the memories become distorted and alter based on how they affected you when they happened and how you rationalise them as you look back.
Two people would be able to describe the same event and come up with two very different accounts.

Before you assume that you're imagining things that didn't happen, is it possible that the imagined bullying is actually an accurate description of what has happened and your memories have been "dampened" to protect yourself from the true nature of the bullying?

Failing that, maybe subconsciously you believe that you deserved the treatment and your brain is using the imagined scenes to act as the punishment your subconscious thinks you deserve.

Interesting. Many times my bullies have told me that i deserved this kind of treatment. Even the person i have considered a friend told me that. Later, he has proved to me that he was the same type of bully as my classmates (provoking, teasing, he even slapped me when i refused to give him the reaction of me being offended). What is more interesting, i am imagining that, when i get angry at them, they are telling me that it is my fault, that i have "let myself", which gets me even more angry. Everyone in my head says that. And i feel alone and misunderstood, angry and frustrated when it happens. I would like it to stop.

CursedByApathy wrote: Even the person i have considered a friend told me that.

Can you expand on the type of bullying you actually received?

How would you compare the behaviour of your friend with normal banter and play fighting that many friends would do?

justonemoreperson wrote:

CursedByApathy wrote: Even the person i have considered a friend told me that.

Can you expand on the type of bullying you actually received?

How would you compare the behaviour of your friend with normal banter and play fighting that many friends would do?

That friend just didn't know when to stop, Many times he was pushing it, even when i asked him to stop. I think that's the main difference. I don't mind playful teasing FROM TIME TO TIME, but enough is enough and you should know when to stop. After awhile when it's alwas like this it just gets annoying. Also, i think it was unfair because he was ganging up on me with his other friend/friends so it was always at least two against me. I didn' feel like a part of a group so i stopped talking to them.

CursedByApathy wrote: I didn' feel like a part of a group so i stopped talking to them.

A reasonable reaction.

Do you have / have you had any developmental issues when you were younger? Would you consider your general behaviour to be out of the ordinary?

justonemoreperson wrote:

CursedByApathy wrote: I didn' feel like a part of a group so i stopped talking to them.

A reasonable reaction.

Do you have / have you had any developmental issues when you were younger? Would you consider your general behaviour to be out of the ordinary?

I didn't had any developmental issues, but when i was around 13 years old i began to suffer from OCD and in that time i started to behave oddly.

People with OCD can find ways to cope and adjust their behaviour; sometimes this involves projecting their obsessiveness on different things.

It seems to improve because the behaviour visible to others is less noticeable but the projection could be made internally.

Is it possible that you're obsessive nature is the reason you're obsessing over internal things, such as the bullying that happened years ago? It would explain why the imagined behaviour of the bullies is more intense that the actual events, in the same way that OCD rituals are an exaggeration of normal everyday activities.