I used to be a bully (regretfully)

When I was maybe 10 or 11, I rode the bus to school. We had assigned seating and the little girl I used to sit with was very "special" shall we say. She was special needs and in intensive special-ed classes in school. She never spoke.

I used to kinda wrap my leg around her's and tightened possibly causing her pain. While doing so, I put my arms up on the seat in front and interact with the fellow who was in that seat so it appeared like I wasn't doing anything to the girl from the perspective of the bus monitor who sat in the back of the bus.

Doing what I did to her used to make her cry and I got some kind of satisfaction from it.

It really eats me up inside today knowing that I tormented her. I tried contacting the school to determine her name but they couldn't help. I wanted to look her up to apologize and give her a big hug and let her know her sorry I was for doing that.

I wish I could go back and be kind to her instead of being cruel.

Hey,


This is an important post and I thank you for making it. For starters, I understand perfectly why you want to contact her because I do that too to people I have hurt in the past. Even after you apologise and they accept your apology it might not make you feel better though. I think the best thing to do is just move-on from what happened and use the experience to make yourself a better person.


Few people examine their past intensely but those that do can realise bad things they've done and can thus prevent them from happening again.


Kevin.

Please dont worry yourself about it, I daresay she will be very greatfull if you sent her a not if you managed to find her address but if you havent forgive yourself anyway.

Picture her in your head and ask for forgiveness and say sorry and lay it to rest.

well what did you is so ugly...being satisfied because you made the girl cry...i imagined the way you bullied her and it really hurts me..i feel sorry for her..ohhh she suffered i can feel her...i wouldn't regret knocking any bullies at any age even a 11 years old...and yes its that bad...but you are feeling bad about what you did and i believe if you totally quited bullying and regreted it i think its so okay because we humans so alot of mistakes but the important part is to learn from our mistakes and try not to do it again.

Keep trying to look her up. You never know if it's still hurting her today.

If you can't find her, then what you need to do is always remember the girl and her tears, and conduct yourself so that you never make someone feel like that again.

Thanks for posting this - it's refreshing to see that some of these people actually grow up to have a heart.

Hey panteau,

This thread is fairly old. Are you new here? What is your story?

Kevin

Hello "demoniac". I have to say that your story makes me want to mutilate you in the most painfull way, but I am not here for that. I really want to hit you and I am having a hard time getting over what you just said about you hitting a "retarded" female. I hit women too, but I would NEVER hit a "retarded" female. SHE CAN'T DEFEND OR SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF!!!! You are a sick piece of $#%^ and if I could honestly find your address, you would be dead and I would be in jail right now. That just makes me sooo mad!! How could you do something like that, even if you were a child?! You would be very wise to look for her, even if it cost you your life. "88snow88", do not say it is a "common human mistake", what he did is unforgiveable and he didn't think of how that other being felt. The person he was fuking with did not see it as a common human mistake when she was crying, neither should he.

Optimistman wrote:Hello "demoniac". I have to say that your story makes me want to mutilate you in the most painfull way, but I am not here for that. I really want to hit you and I am having a hard time getting over what you just said about you hitting a "retarded" female. I hit women too, but I would NEVER hit a "retarded" female. SHE CAN'T DEFEND OR SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF!!!! You are a sick piece of $#%^ and if I could honestly find your address, you would be dead and I would be in jail right now. That just makes me sooo mad!! How could you do something like that, even if you were a child?! You would be very wise to look for her, even if it cost you your life. "88snow88", do not say it is a "common human mistake", what he did is unforgiveable and he didn't think of how that other being felt. The person he was fuking with did not see it as a common human mistake when she was crying, neither should he.

Optimistman, this is the type of posting that could get you banned.

Please refrain from name calling etc.. behavior like that is not tolerated on the site, you know that from what we've told you. Anger is one thing, but step back and ignore posts that cause you to get upset. Threatening a member too is a definite no no.

Please refrain from posting like this again on the forums.

Sorry, that post just got me pissed. Sorry!!! Do you not think what he did to a handicap person is outrageous?!

Optimistman wrote:Sorry, that post just got me pissed. Sorry!!! Do you not think what he did to a handicap person is outrageous?!

Yes I do, he admits to doing it, though he said he does no longer.

There are many times I have to bite my tongue with posters, I've had to with you...

I just try and stay away from posts I can't respond calmly too.