FE college

My daughter has been in her new college for a month. On the enrolment day she met a girl who she felt that she immediately clicked with, they're both very beautiful. They found out that they'd be catching the same train together and they swapped numbers and for the weeks leading up to the start of college messaged each other regularly.

When they started college my daughter (for the first time in a long time) found herself with lots of new lovely friends and alongside the girl (let's call her A) they seemed to be the most popular in the college. The second day of college my daughter told A that she'd gone in for a competition and my daughter said that A looked at her really weirdly but didn't say anything but the next day she told my daughter that she was in the same competition that we thought was almost like a sign that they were to become friends. (Coincidence number 1).

They both attended the competition, I met A's mum and it was all very exciting, even more so when we found that they'd both got through to the next round. All was happy for the rest of the week. The next week A went on holiday so my daughter had a chance to really get to know the other students but kept in touch with A to keep her up to date with all the news from college.

The following week was normal and seemingly happy.

The following Monday my daughter had an online article written about herself in connection with the competition to which A told her a few of the things that she wasn't supposed to do (which weren't true because we went through the rule). The next day in college my daughter bought a collection box into the school (in connection with the competition) and all of a sudden A changed and flipped out on my daughter. My daughter felt really uncomfortable and A turned her back in her and stopped talking to her

That night a bit of gossip went on with the friends, some of them told my daughter that A had said my daughter didn't like her, that she tried messaging my daughter but she was ignoring her which was not true. So I asked my daughter to try calling her - she did not respond to my daughter's texts or answer her calls. She texted a lad to say she was really upset and when he called her, she said that everyone was team (my daughter), he thought that somebody had died! My daughter said that she wasn't aware that there were teams. The next day when My daughter tried talking, she would talk over her, ignore her and walk away with one of their joint friends. When my daughter was with another joint friend who called A, she completely ignored him. Things were staring to get tricky and he suggested she reported it because she should feel safe in college

Anyway to cut a long story short, one by one each friend has now left my daughter and gone over to A's side. She has heard that A hated L because he was my daughter's friend, told him she knew where his loyalties lied when he talked to my daughter and even sent a snapchat of herself in her underwear to lure him over to her side.

Oh yes and all of a sudden A started message one of my daughter's social circle of friends (after she'd seen them in a posh nightclub, drinking champagne in a vip suite), the next day she coincidently bumped into him in his place of work. There seems to be a lot of coincidences with her


My daughter is such a sweet girl, she is 18 but lost almost a year and a half of life due to a (lifelong condition)illness so socially she is quite immature, this girl has just turned 17

Practically everything that my daughter does is copied by A and she rolls her eyes if someone mentions my daughter's name. The last (girl) friend of my daughter had a birthday and my daughter bought her a small present and put a lovely post up on facebook. Many people also put posts up and she liked and commented on everyone except my daughter's. She has now stopped talking to my daughter and is seen on FB at A's birthday meal (which no one waited for my daughter) pretty much part of her group. My daughter tried to make an effort with everyone as she didn't want to be a victim but one day she didn't and said she was invisabke, they didn't do it on purpose but they bumped into her as though she wasn't there. She felt ostracised.

I had had enough and wanted to bring this to the head of year, so I telephoned in to make them aware. My daughter was called in and chatted about everything. I was called back and was told that yes she and the trainee teacher did notice that something wasn't right. That afternoon she ran a class about social exclusion. Things did not change, subtle posts were put up on FB discrediting certain things that my daughter was involved in.

Finally both girls were called into the office last Monday and my daughter was able to air all her grievances to the head of year and her assistant.

My daughter said that A looked shocked and angry at the huge list of things my daughter said

She only said that she didn't and wha? Oh yes and suggested my daughter was paranoid, which the teacher also suggested

My daughter said can they keep this between themselves as she didn't want A to lose face amongst her friends. Everyone agreed

2 days later someone told my daughter that A had told a large group of students that my daughter had told the teacher that A and her friend were going to hit her (she's including friends for support).

I immediately told the head of year who called the lad in and reprimanded him for gossiping!! And my daughter was questioned as to why she thought that it was true.

The next day I call the bullying helpline and get advice on how to set up a log and for my daughter to keep a diary of events dates, who was there, time, her feelings and that this can be used as evidence

The curriculum leader contacted me and I asked for a written report. She was very nice but said that my daughter would probably not like some of the things that she read. Disciplinaries were going to be sent out, college is in review next week and then there's half term and hopefully everything will settle down when they go back

I'm sorry for such a long post but I feel so frustrated to see my daughter going through such pain, I don't totally feel that the teachers believe her, that the young lad got a disciplinary and yest A is basking in the limelight. I know what she's doing, she's been very clever and insidious, nothing has been written down, my daughter is dreading going in on Monday, she says that she's become invisible and feels worthless. My heart is breaking for her. I am telling her that these people are irrelevant and that she needs to focus on her studies and succeed but she would just like one friend to share all the girlie stuff with. Any advice would be appreciated.