how to let it go?

ok, the quick run down.

i started primary school at 5.
i was bullied by a girl the moment i set foot in the door.
name calling, rumour spreading, physically attacked the works.
this wasn't only happening in school.. every youth club/sports club i was in she joined and tormented me.
i told my teachers and my parents and they were all aware of what was going on. unfortunately the teachers were all a bit scared of this girls mother who had a reputation for being a "hard nut".. and really nothing was done to stop it from happening.

this continued through til I was 11 and due to go to secondary school.
i sat my 11+ (a transfer test to see if you go to grammar school or high school) and I passed. i was going to the grammar. the bully failed. she and her family moved away to wales and i started grammar school with little or no problem.

in my 2nd year at this school (i was 12/13) the girl who bullied me moved back to my hometown and much to my distress not only managed to get a place at the grammar school but she was put into my class!

for the next 3 to 4 years she continued where she left off.. and managed to enlist other girls into helping her.. breaking into my locker, emptying everything out onto the floor, destroying my books and my notes, physically attacking me in the PE changing rooms, and generally making my experience of school horrible.

i left school at 16 and started college.. i never heard from the bully again until earlier this year when she managed to track me down on myspace and when i declined her offer of friendship she began sending me abusive message again! (i blocked her and deleted my account).

i kept having reoccuring nightmares about this girl and the very thought of bumping into her in the street makes me feel sick. i'm 23 now and everyone keeps telling me to forget about it and move on but for some reason i cant. it's made me very bitter about my time at school and about everyone i went to school with... wether it was because they joined in with her or because they didn't stick up for me. i wish i wasn't feeling so twisted about the whole thing and i could just leave it in the past, but everytime i come across anyone i went to school with i just feel physically sick.

i've tried hypnotherapy, i've tried talking to my therapist and nothing seems to help

One of the biggest crimes of them all is that bullying commonly goes unnoticed. However, there is a worse crime: It is when adults who are aware of the bullying ignore it. This breaks my heart for the sheer injustice involved.


Your mind has been scarred by this which is why it is difficult to move-away from the thoughts. There are many things around you that remind of the past - That's how the brain works. A way out of it all is to NOT be around those familiar things. My school-life was terrible too but I now do not talk to anyone from that school, despite living in the same town as I always have.


So, I strongly suggest to you to move away from anybody that is a link to your past. While this might not sound ideal to everyone I feel it is a viable option for you because you have stated that therapy has not worked.


Never EVER let anybody run your life and tell you what to do. NEVER accept it because you are a person too - You have feelings & aspirations just like everybody else and you are no less important than them just as you are no more important than them either. We are all on an equal footing and if anybody tries to drag you down then move away and forget about them.


Loving you always,
Kevin.

beat her up useing a baseballbat if you do it right she wont screw with you again and you will feel better then her

"beat her up useing a baseballbat if you do it right she wont screw with you again and you will feel better then her"

I hope this was sarcasm.

Ironiclly hurting someone out of fear dosent make you feel any better. The fear only grow's. You feel worse and more scared.

I grew up in a poor crummy naighborhood and bullying and intimidation where daily. Yet i cant recall any complaints or such negative effects as we see in todays world. With kid's killing themselves because of bullying, or bringing weapons to school. That's scary $#%^. Kids bringing weapons to protect themselves in a place they go to learn.

That's all so very very lamentably true Jamie'. I live in Ireland and it is strange that the way our society is developing appears to be mirroring the way US society has developed. I am, of course, referring to all the bad connotations. In England it is worse: In London there have been four shootings in the past 3 days of young black men.


Democracy will only take us so far. Society needs to REALLY take a look at what is happening to those that aren't being catered for: The depressed; the bullied; the raped; and those that live in third-world conditions in a first-world nation.

well it was not reallys serieus but violence can sometimes help get a bully of your back
i in my live have known lots of them like half of them i got off my back just fighting them by just working out a lot and letting them know they cant ###$ arround with you cus they will simply be attacked oke so they do think your a psycho but at the end they dont want to bully you but be your friends
nobody bullys me anymore now and i think it just stays that way cus you change too if you keep trying it this way

I dealt with bullying all my life with school. The very first time was actually in nursery school, right before kindergarden a boy named christopher strangled me, and I remember my sister going to the teacher and her not doing anything.

I was assaulted and harrassed in both public and highschool as well... I think when you realize that you are bigger then this person and know that you are not at fault for this bully pestering you will help.

It took alot out of me dealing with all of that it lowered my self-esteem etc.


Therapy helped, getting a book on the topic may help as well.
I had purchased a fantastic book called Please Stop Laughing At Me, a book about school bullying. By Jodee Blanco

Her book was really fantastic, and I emailed her to say how much her book helped me and she was a really nice person. She is also a victim of bullying, it's her story.