Is it bullying?

My 9 year old daughter plays with a neighborhood boy. They have been practically best friends for years. A new boy moved in the neighborhood and now every time they play, her friend wants to include the new boy. The two boys then run from my daughter, hide in places they know my daughter can't go, and basically do everything they can shun her from playing with them. They also say mean things to her to intentionally make her feel excluded. One boy pushed her. This has happened on repeated occasions and seems to be getting worse. My question is, are the boys just being boys, are they being mean, or is it bullying? I feel it is important I know the difference because we have a very amicable neighborly relationship with the boys parents and feel I can talk to them. I just want to be sure I know what I am talking about.

ah.. divide and conquer..

This power play stuff baffles me but yes.. intentionally shunning her, calling her names and everything is a form of bullying.
However.. it's probably not something that either of the boys would understand as bullying because the new one is doing this to be ''top dog'' rather than definitely to hurt your daughter.
If the balance can be brought back a bit and the new boy can be made to understand that actually he's not in charge or the most important person on the face of the earth, things should settle back down.
I seriously wish they did practical empathy lessons in school.

I don't think the boys are old enough to be aware of how their actions and words effect others. How can they be? They're 9. However, it is bullying and if you don't nip this in the bud it can lead to bigger problems. It's also NOT ACCEPTABLE to push your daughter. That's never ok, especially at 9.

However, I work in Child Development and this is a great learning opportunity for all of the children and can be a great exercise in empathy. If you have an amicable relationship with the neighbors, I highly suggest having a meeting - with the children included. Under the guidance of adults, I would encourage you to let the children brainstorm what the rules of play should be. I think this is also an opportunity for you and your daughter to discuss what to do if this situation happened with boys, or girls, you don't know. Let her come up with the ideas.

You might also put your daughter in a martial arts class. The two girls a take care of (ages 9 and 12) get a great sense of confidence and empowerment out of it. They're pretty proud of themselves cause they're 2 of only 3 girls in the class. That way, no one can ever push her again.

A book that I love love love is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

I hope you guys can solve this productively.