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How to deal with one fierce mobber

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How to deal with one fierce mobber

Postby cactuslike » Wed Apr 29, 2015 4:16 pm

At my workplace we have a serious case of mobbing. The whole firm is mobbed by a newly elected manager, regardless of the fact who supports her and who not. Her supporters get some tiny crumbs of her attention in form of little favours, but even this is not much, they have to work as oxen, too.

Reporting is something we think of, but we are still gathering notes of the events and waiting for her serious mistakes. Even when and if we report her actions, we still don´t have much hope, because we have no experience with that and are not very optimistic.
She belittles competences of us who do not think the same as her and who dare to oppose her. Nothing we have made during years and decades exists for her. Total neglect and ignorance of people.
She summons meetings on a short notice, preaches notorious things to all - as if we were all newbies. Lurks our conversations, steals ideas and sells them as hers. Manipulates and distorts reality. Favorizes some new employees who are on temporary contract, trying to promise them permanent jobs.

We opposed her politely when she obviously destroyed some good work and the reputation of our firm and we tried to make logical discussions in our meetings and in her office, but she puts her mask of a manipulator and actor and plays innocent. ("Why are you telling this. I surely didn´t mean that." - with the saddest face on.)

It must be at least three or four serious personality disorders inside her, but we are helpless. What depresses even more is the fact that other people in the firm just do not want to do anything. They just passively let the things go by, so that there are only 4-5 of us who do not want to be humiliated. Even so, we cannot change things. Is there any other useful strategy until we collect certain proofs about her bullying?
( Forgive me, but I have some really aggresive thoughts. The woman drives me crazy and not just me.)
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Re: How to deal with one fierce mobber

Postby seabreezeblue » Tue May 05, 2015 12:35 pm

I'm not really sure what to suggest here..

You're already doing what you can in the right way by the looks of things.. as far as dealing with her in the meantime, I think that it might be helpful to have a chat with your colleagues and work out a plan to help you all cope a bit better with things.. and to stop her stealing ideas etc..

I suggest that you and your colleagues agree to end any important conversations when this woman is in the vicinity.. agree on a safe topic to change the conversation to in advance so that everyone knows what's happening and can join in.

I can't advise more without going against my own moral code with regards to playing games/manipulation but try and play along to keep things stressfree atm..
agree with her when you can and don't challenge her - I find that when people belittle others, it's because their self esteem is low so they climb on top of others to make themselves look taller..
this is also what she's doing when she favourites new employees over the longer term ones - they can't yet see what she's like so she befriends them and makes them feel good before anyone else can get to them and they see reality - it's far far harder to change a mind that already holds an opinion than it is to influence someone without an existing opinion (something i've learned the hard way from my family over the years).

Just some thoughts though - they may or may not be helpful.
xx
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..
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Re: How to deal with one fierce mobber

Postby cactuslike » Wed May 06, 2015 2:52 pm

Thank you for your reply, seabreezeblue, I already thought I will get no feedback.
Regarding the connenction with my colleagues at work, it functions well. It is more that I had to vent out, because this atmosphere is really depressive. The manager is so predictable in being unpredictable: one day she is a beast, the other she plays the lamb. She has been "read through", and this kind of hot-cold play exhausts us all.

At least, we understand now why all the world¨s dictators succeeded: she is a good example of a manipulative dictator inside one small firm. And also a good case study of human behaviour of people who surround a dictator. They see everything but just choose to close their eyes and think that the least comfortable way is the best.
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