Ive just joined this forum as I wasnt sure where to turn really. Ive been having a problem with a neighbour who I think may have some kind of mental health issue, and its been causing me some stress. Its a longish story so will try to keep it as brief as I can.
I live in a block of flats (3 floors high) - I'm on the first floor. Its housing association. Ive been here for 16yrs with no major issues with any of the neighbours apart from one many yrs ago. This particular neighbour moved in 5 yrs ago. She lives across and up one floor so not directly adjacent to me. We've not had that much to do with eachother, I found her somewhat unfriendly when she first moved in..we were both on the stairs, I said hello and wanted to introduce myself but she ignored me. Occasionally we had little chats but I never felt that relaxed talking to her, as it was usually her complaining about other neighbours making too much noise or she had suspicions that someone had tampered with her mailbox and then felt another neighbour had tampered with something outside her flat door. Ive no idea if any of this was true or but she generally seemed quite angry most of the time.
Anyway a couple of summers ago, she came down to complain about the volume on my TV being too loud. My ears tend to get blocked up and as we had very warm weather I had my lounge windows wide open and I had no idea how much the noise from the TV was drifting out. She brought another neighbour (from upstairs) down with her. I apologised straightaway and lowered the TV. The neighbour she brought down her came to visit me a couple of days later to apologise and to say that he had no problem with the TV (he lives directly above me) and that when the other neighbour asked him to come down he felt he couldnt say no as she has quite a strong personality.
Anyway the next summer (last yr) the same thing happened....I completely forgot how loud the TV must have been and my ears were blocked again and the TV volume was drifting out. She came down again (brought the same neighbour with her) and said that TV volume was too loud. I felt really bad that I had not realised for the 2nd time (hard to judge when your ears are blocked!) and again apologised and said that I'd lower it straightaway. She also said that it had been getting another neighbour down (the neighbour who lives underneath me). I felt pretty bad about this as I'm friendly with the neighbour underneath and hoped that she might have let me know if any noise from my flat was bothering her. The same thing happened...the neighbour who she brought down with her apologised again saying he had no problem with the noise and he felt he could not say no to her (to come down to see me). I texted my neighbour underneath to apologise about the TV volume and she said that she wasnt bothered about the noise at all and could barely hear my TV. She said that the other neighbour had been asking her why she hadnt complained about me and she couldnt understand why she was doing this. So I wrote a note to the original neighbour who complained saying that I wouldnt want my TV to bother anyone, but I wasnt happy that she said it was bothering the other neighbour. I posed the note under her door after knocking and there was no reply. Later that evening she came down looking furious and started shouting at me telling me that the other neighbour was lying to me,...she also starting making up things about me which were not true and behaving in a very aggressive and unreasonable manner. I didnt know what to say and I couldnt rationalise with her at all, saying that there must have been a misunderstanding but in the end I shouted back as she just wouldnt listen and continued to shout at me. She sounded paranoid, was very hostile and I was completely stunned. Another neighbour heard her shouting at me and I made a complaint to the housing association about her behaviour, and the complaint was upheld. I also bumped into this neighbour in the street once and she told lies about the housing association and also lied about another incident. Later on that day she was also shouting very loudly and swearing (things like "######6 bitch!") out of her window which another neighbour and I both heard and thought it might be directed at me. It was quite intimidating. (NB some of us have heard her shouting similar things on other occasions, and we have often wondered what the problem was and feel uncomfortable with her because of this).
I didnt have much to do with her after that but there were a couple of other incidents where Ive heard her shouting in the corridor about smells in the building (cooking smells), which clearly make her angry/upset as she shouts and opens the windows.
Then in January this year I was away for one day and when I returned home in the evening I found a powder sprinkled all over the stairs, corridor and a quite a lot deliberately put right outside the door to my flat. I had to clean it up outside my door as the smell was quite strong and I got it on my shoes and my carpet. It was clearly put there deliberately.
The housing association said that it was a health and safety issue and possibly anti-social behaviour. No-one else has keys to the building and I know the other 2 neighbours well enough to know they definitely did not do it. We've all been here for many years. I believe it was this neighbour (due to her dislike of smells) and that she has deliberately put a load of this powder outside my door, perhaps(?) because she is still angry about what happened last year. She did deny putting it there, in fact she said that she didnt even notice it when a neighbour asked her about it, which he thought was very odd as it was everywhere and you just couldnt miss it. The housing association couldnt accuse anyone of doing it however, without actual proof but since then I smelled the same powder a few times after that coming from upstairs where her flat is, I was certain it was her powder.
After that I also heard her complain/shout again about smells in the corrider. I am 100% convinced it was her so I put a note in her post box saying that if anyone puts any more powder outside tenants doors without cleaning it up I will report them to the police for anti-social behaviour and harassment. Two weeks later I had a visit from the police as she has reported me for harassment (because she still had the note I wrote last yr, and now I understand that if you have 2 pieces of evidence you can report someone
). I feel that I have not done anything wrong, apart from having the TV too loud, which I did something about, and standing up for myself when she lied and put the powder (totally believe it was her).She doesnt seem to take *any* responsibility for her actions at all. Does it sound like she has some kind of mental health issue or personality disorder?
So sorry for the long post! Thanks for any thoughts
Yes my plan was to not give her any of my mental/emotional energy and not engage with her, or think about her at all, and that is definitely helping my peace of mind. I spoke to the housing officer and they appear to be aware of what this woman is like (without actually saying it outright as they have to appear to be objective and not taking sides so to speak). They just told me to keep a log of anything else that happens. 
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed