how to help a bully victim recover

my best friend used to get bullied through highschool. she always looked like she could just shrug it off, but it hurt her deeply. sometimes she hurt herself, though that's in the past now. she was called ugly, misshaped, weird, pathetic, and later whiny, a bitch. she always had friends, but she hasn't managed to feel secure with them. she knows now, that two years have past since the end of highschool, that the people surrounding her do love her. but that's not enough, the emotional scars she has from highschool bullying don't let her love herself. she knows this, but she can't help it. if she feels that one person, may it be someone close to her or an accquaintance, looks down on her, she starts questioning everything good about herself. she starts remembering the past, the shame she felt when she was bullied, she feels really bad, she cries. my words and those of her other friends are not enough to help her in the long term. thankfully she still talks to me about these things, but i don't know how to help her. i thought it was about her realising that she is loved. but it wasn't enough. i have ran out of ideas. please, any suggestions would be very appreciated

It's really good that you're helping her. If her feelings of low self-worth are so deeply entrenched, though, she may need some professional help and support. You could encourage her to seek counseling or therapy.

One thing that happens with low self-worth is that the person will rationalize the assurances they get from the people that are close to them, and love them. They think, "yes, but you're my family or my friend so you have to say that", and then they don't really accept it as the reality or the verdict of the world in general. Strange as it seems, sometimes the closest people are the least able to help.

Counseling would help her develop an objective viewpoint, that basically comes from herself and her own evaluation of her worth, rather than coming from outside. That's really what she needs, to change the way she does that self-evaluation to consider the positive rather than the negative. You can encourage that, but again it has to happen from inside, and therapy will help with that process. I hope you'll both consider it.