Bullying at The Homeless Shelter

I'm being bullied by women in the shelter. It started last night when I asked them to be quiet because it was after lights-out and I needed to be up early in the morning. I recently got a part-time job.

I wasn't able to sleep much because of all the noise they were making. I ended up completely sleeping through my alarm and couldn't go. It was my first day. I was told that because I failed to call in time or provide a good reason, they let me go. It was actually an internship at another location of the very shelter I'm staying in now. This was an excellent opportunity for me.

And I lost it.

Later that morning, one of the women said, "I thought you had to be up early" and her and her friend laughed at me. I told them that I ended up losing my job thanks to them and they just laughed about it. When I started yelling at them, one told the other to just ignore me. Meanwhile they were still making fun of me.

All day they shot me dirty looks, then tonight, I was lying in bed for about an hour and didn't say a word to anyone. All of a sudden they start joking about me missing work again and then they started saying that the only reason anyone would have to get up at dawn to go to work is if they're prostituting.

Now I'm a prostitute? Where did they get that from? The majority of people I know get up at dawn to get ready for work.

I complained to the staff and they didn't really care. They said they would talk to the girls and tell them to leave me alone (after I literally begged them to) but that I wouldn't get a chance to change rooms until tomorrow. They spent the whole time playing the victims, saying that I started with them even though I hadn't said ANYTHING to them since this morning.

I don't know whether to kill them or kill myself. I lost my job. I got called a whore in front of everyone. I'm being persistently bullied by total strangers for no reason. I didn't mind them making fun of the fact that I don't have many clothes before this, but this is just going too far.

I was bullied my entire life just for looking the way I do. Now I'm being bullied for having (had) a job? For being an early bird?

What did I do to deserve this?

This is the kind of thing that makes me want to end my life. Or someone else's. I didn't do anything to deserve all of this. I had to talk myself out of hanging myself earlier and I don't even see why I bothered.

I don't get it... Do these women possess any self-awareness? They're still making fun of me every few minutes but they're not doing it as badly as before I snitched.

But I don't understand; one of them who has been bullying me just finished telling everyone in the middle of a conversation that she wants to be a housewife, and her EXACT words were: "I want to be the kind who stays home while my man goes out and ###$ as many bitches as he wants. I'll give you as many babies as you want, just give me money and let me have my space". And the other women agreed and one of them even ######6 clapped and said, "There you go! That's right, girl!"

But I'M the prostitute?!

You'd get ostracized from most groups for saying that that's how you want to live your life. And they're praising her for it?! In fact, ALL they've been talking about since they came back in here are men, male genitals, sex, wigs, hair and clothes.

Yet I'M the one with a questionable sex life just because I had to wake up early for work?! I get bullied for what? I behave decently. I try not to even curse when I'm here and I don't even undress in front of the other women. What kind of backward world am I living in? Their words and behavior are acceptable, but my sleeping schedule gets me picked on?

It's like junior high school!

Sorry to hear about this harassment Omni, and especially that you lost your job. If it doesn't end maybe there is someone above the staff you can talk to - if it doesn't make things worse. I hope you find work again.

Otter.

I'm sorry you lost your job and are going through this terrible situation. You can't get hung up on the stupid things people say to you. You know you're no prostitute and in any case, as you have pointed out, the ones with that mindset are those other women themselves.

When I was bullied, I would think about a situation where I would confront them and tell them that I didn't have anything against them, that I'd just like to be at peace with them, and be done with it. I never followed through because I thought it would make the situation worse.

Are you sure your opportunity is done? Maybe, just maybe, you could find someone who understands what you went through and they give you a second chance. Perhaps this is unrealistic, but you never know until you actually ask.

If you have no other place to go, then it might be an idea to confront and talk to these people about it. I know it isn't at all easy, as I wasn't able to do it myself, when the time was right.

Their words and behavior are acceptable, but my sleeping schedule gets me picked on?

You know perfectly well that their words and behavior are not acceptable at all. You're trying to do better, to get ahead, and you should try to shut out anything that sets you back. I realize that if you're in a shelter it's because you likely have no other place to run to. But perhaps if they change rooms or if you can talk this out some way, it'll get better.

These women, they are projecting their insecurities out on you. People are weak, some people are narrow and mean-spirited. You can't let these people get to you, you should really try not to. Especially if this gets you so down it makes you feel like you don't want to go on any longer.

Try and see if you can get another chance. If you can't, keep trying. You have to do what's in your reach to change for the better, nothing more and nothing less.

I hope you find the strength to keep plowing through. We'll be holding out here for you! A warm hug from a distance.