HELP! I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD EVER POST HERE!

Help...

This is a crisis...as a matter of fact the biggest crisis I have dealt with and I have seen a lot in my life. The reason this is BIG is because it involves my son

I have a darling loving son in Kindergarten now. He has been to pre-k two years before this so basically this is his third year. He never had any problems before. But from the beginning of this school year, a boy in his class (who is over-weight, taller, and very spoiled) has been BULLYING MY BOY!!

I didn't think the bullying was anything serious. I initially thought, well little kids play. Until one day my son came home his whole face black and blue because the bulley boy pushed him hard on the paved hill as they were walking out of school and there was a car coming by.

On another day, I was SHOCKED when my son came home and the bully boy had PEED ON HIM!! The urine was on the back of my sons clothes, meaning that my son didn't see him doing it initially. That incident set me off and I went and talked to his teacher and she said she will talk to the bully boy and handle it.

Today, my son came home with his nose swollen and bleeding. I asked him and he said the same bully boy was trying to take his sand toys away from him and when my son refused the bully boy shoved him so hard, my sons face went smash into the pole.

I already talked to the teacher about all of this. She said the bully kid is a difficult child and she is having a hard time dealing with him in class. He disturpts the class and doesn't respond to her at all. She said that she wasn't responsible for the bullying the happened after class when the kids would be walking home.

I AM IN DISTRESS!! Please, guide me. I want to catch this now before my son is labeled. My son is naturally a quiet boy, and skinny and doesn't really yell or scream like other kids. According to his teacher he is "too soft" AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!

Help.

i think the only thing you can do is talk to the boy's parents. i would bring somebody else with you incase the boy's parents get angry, but more than likely they won't. if your boy has been having such a hard time i would recomend pulling him out for a few days while you work on punishing the other boy.

i hope your boy is safe, good luck,
kaelynn

If a child this age is this rough with other children, I would be very concerned about the treatment that child receives outside the school environment. I would get in contact with the principle and the guidance counselor and try to get this bully weekly or twice weekly visits to their office for help. From there, they can establish why the boy is acting out so aggressively and get whatever else they need to do done. If the school does feel that this is a good step to a resolution, its time to call social services. And always take pictures of what has happened to your son. Every time something happens, call the teacher and ask her is she or anyone else witnessed what was going on. Type up a description of what happened according to your sons account, who you contacted, the date and about the time it situation happened.

Now you said the boy was overweight and very spoiled. This jumps out as a red flag to me. If he is overweight, it may be do to overeating problem stemming from low esteem. Or he could be overweight and spoiled because a parent or two feel guilty for abusing him and then "gift" him afterwards to try and make it right.

Either way, if a child is seriously overweight, I would question how much other neglect the child is receiving.

Be careful of how much talking you do with the bullies parents. If they see you as a threat, they will only coach their bully boy on other ways to bully to not get caught or get him to exaggerate or lie about how your son dealt with him. When you do talk to them, dont be too defensive of your son. Be more casual, Im just wondering your sons side of the story.

And the teacher is right, she is not responsible for what may happen to your son on the way home from school. Its now regular old public assault. A remedy for that might be to just call the cops & press assault charges against both the boy and his parents. Take your son to the doctor when injures are obvious and then sue them for the cost of the medical bills plus pain & suffering. Then in court in front of the judge and everyone else, tell the judge your concerns about the bully being abused or neglected and that you would like to see the child moved to a less aggressive enviroment where he can be loved and cared for as much as your little boy is, like every little boy should get.

Good luck and sorry to hear about this.

daughter05,

thank you very much. that is some really great advice! I never thought to take pictures or to make documents of the bullying.

I wasn't so sure about how to talk to the boy's parents because from what I heard, his parents are not his biological parents and this kid was adopted from a family of many many kids and maybe he was abused before the adoption. once adopted he became extremely spoiled because the adoptive parents tried for many years to conceive with no success so to them this child was a miracle.

I am disturbed because my son has changed in many ways. he stopped defending himself completely. his little sister can get her way with him and hit him and he doesn't fight back at all. His cousin hit him too recently, and I am very disturbed because I feel like damage has been done and my son will be treated like that forever.

I am crying my eyes out thinking about this. I feel for every little boy and girl out there who has experienced being bullied. this is the worse thing in the world. it robs children of their happy childhood.

thank you daughter05, i know now that i should stop letting this happen and persue it further and take legal action.

have you discussed this yet w/ the principal? Because it seems like it's being "tolerated" at the school level when it should be. If your child's injuries are this severe....more then "talking" should be taking place between just teacher and student. Is there more then one kindergarten class at your school.....can your son be moved to an alternate class? For example...my daughter's "K" class has 50 students so it split into 2 classes...some of the other grade schools in our district have 3 classes of "K" in their school. Mind you this bullying is taking place at recess and after school though so this switch may not resolve your problem completely.....but definetly bring it to the attention of the principal and school guidance as others here have suggested. Let them know the seriousness of this.....how long it's been going on....number of times.....degree of each offense.....that you are wanting to know about the involvement of his parents w/ each offense....you want to know what action the teacher has taken in letting his parents know each time these things have happened to your son......this child is FIVE years old....his parents need to be made aware of what is going on.....on the walk home from school or otherwise. I disagree w/ the teacher that it's not her concern what happens on the way home from school. This involves her student. this isn't what has happened once they were home.....this is what has happened as they were leaving school....if I were a teacher....I'd want to know what was happening w/ my students because it is obviously just a continuation of what is already taking place at school. I could agree w/ her if nothing was taking place at school I guess. At any rate. You have been given some good suggestions and I would definetly pursue those options and continue to fight this. don't just sit back quietly and leave it between teacher and student....it won't resolve on it's own there.

Absolutely go to the principal with it.

If nothing comes of that, take it to the board of directors.

Look into changing teachers or classrooms.

I hope things improve...

I see that this posting was started a year ago . . . Has the situation been resolved? My prayers are with all of you.

bigdeal_1 wrote:Help...

Help is here!

1. Throw out all this liberal arts gabage out of your head.
2. Tell your son he should be a MAN!
3. Threaten to beat him up (not your son but the bully).
4. Do it.
5. Teach your son to be a man not a yellow americana whimp.

Everyone's subconscious thoughts come out! How much do we owe you for that session Internet Asshole?

Personally I would see if I could press charges against the parents. If an adult was doing this their butts would be in jail. Is there any way you can actually bring down the law on these people? I mean a little shoving around is one thing but for your child to be coming home with a half broken nose, bruises and scrapes all over, and being in constant fear would make me want to call the police over to their parents house and give them a little wake up call.

Now, what Vald said. I am sort of on the fence here. I would say that it is important to teach your child to stand up for himself by showing him how to be brave. Not beat the bully up, just be able to stand up for himself if the occasion arrises.

This is also something I see with owners and their dogs. When the owner is panicked, it travels down the lead and then the dog is panicked. When your son see's you in so much distress, then he will be fearful. If he see's you take charge of the situation by showing him the right things to do he will then feel more confident.

When I was in 6th grade there was this girl bully. She knew I was afraid of her and she thought it was always funny to talk to me aggressively and see me try and laugh it off because I was afraid. One day she was walking after me and yelling about something, so I turned around and raised my fist and said "I'm gonna punch you!" and she laughed and ran off.
I didn't even need to hit her, and honestly at that moment I didn't think I was going to because I was sort of half frozen in fear with my fist raised up, but luck was on my side I guess or I scared the $#%^ out of her because she wasn't expecting it.
Every day after that she never bullied me again. In fact I think she even had a crush on me, it was strange.

Now in the case of your son, this bully is a boy. As a boy he may not be apt to run away with his tail between his legs like my good ole friend Lashia, but maybe if you could teach him how to just stand up for himself and be brave, even if it means he'll get pushed anyway, he will feel more confident with himself.