Wish I Could Get Hostile

I feel like a loser. I let people treat me like a child, disrespect me, talk down to me, lecture me, mock me, humiliate me, and torment me. I feel like everyone else is a winner and I'm the loser.

I saw this reality show called Flavor of Love with this girl named Larissa. I wish I were her. She has been pushed around too and she fought her way to the top. She doesn't take crap from anyone. She makes 200k in her own business, she's thin, and she has nice hair and clothes.

I feel so hopeless. Everyone says I seem so outgoing and like such a people person. I want to be like that but I can't shake off the idea that people are totally judgmental, rude, mean, unfair, and prejudiced.

I also have a sensitivity to the double standard between men and women, where if a girl sleeps around she's one thing but if a guy sleeps around he's another. That seems rampant and global.

A friend of mine thinks I should just stop talking to people I don't know altogether. What do you think?

I think it's possible to end up with a tiny or non existent friend circle without talking to strangers occasionally. Or being open to the possibility that they could be nice. And worth your time.

Are there ways you could be more like Larissa? Thinking "What would Larissa do?" There's a risk there too. A balance to find, so people don't disrespect you either for being "a loser" or for being an asshat. I hope this doesn't seem stupid. I've noticed that I act differently when I use different names. Obviously you're not me and I am probably weird. But you could perhaps try giving "Larissa" as your name when you buy coffee. Or if that's needed at a restaurant or hairdressers. Not that you BECOME her. It's more like taking her for a role model. And ways to remind yourself you're doing that.

Sorry, pretty random thoughts here. Hopefully someone else will be more to the point.