Mystery bullies and Untrue Rumor Starters

Since the age of 14, I have been acutely aware that I tend to yield enemies, through no moral fault of my own but of course I am not perfect just like anyone else. I often rub people the wrong way, but perhaps part of it is their personal problems, perhaps I have a personality disorder. I live in a small area that is overrun by uneducated hypocrite Baptists, the type that want to shove their culture down your throat. There are still people who will treat you like you're not even a person if you if you don't attend their church or one like theirs. I had a nervous breakdown because of the way I was treated in high school, the high amounts of attention coupled with vicious rumors and verbal assaults/threats. This is, I believe the main source that activated my emotional problems.

An older employee with a red face and an incensed look in her eye starts cussing me out HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE? HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE!? I was completely confused and said I didn't understand, and we walked out to the parking lot to find my car jagged in the parking space a half inch away from touching her car. A witness confirmed that my car was parked straight and later noticed that it had been moved when he went back out there. I did not leave for a break, so it had to be that someone picked it up but I still was blamed and made to feel like it was my fault by the employee. Even so when I come in at night to check the schedule, employees laugh and point and say mean things about me for reasons I can't possibly understand. There is no video footage in that area of the parking lot so they could not figure out who it was.

Now, I believe a similar action to the car being picked up is taken. Some drama has been going down lately and there is a person at work there who is the type that would take revenge. I noticed today that on the viewing activity on my Netflix account, some disgusting movies were clicked on recently and it was a day that I was at work, so there is no way that I clicked on them or certainly anyone else in my household didn't. I have had problems with this before in the past, with lesbian rumors, a common bullying tactic. So now when I go into Netflix to watch my shows, I have to see that crap on there in the "recommended for you" lol. Now, because of what's on there, I cannot let my niece use my account. Perhaps it is a glitch, but I just find it too much of a coincidence that this bully at work is the type of person that thinks if a girl won't have sex with him or a certain guy, she's lesbian.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:I live in a small area that is overrun by uneducated hypocrite Baptists, the type that want to shove their culture down your throat. There are still people who will treat you like you're not even a person if you if you don't attend their church or one like theirs.

I recommend you leave. Some places are backwards, it sounds like you're form a backwards place. When it comes down to religious bigotry there is no force on earth except the slow precession of scientific progress that'll make them change their minds, you're certainly not going to do it on your own. You sound like you're able to hold down a job - grab work somewhere else and get out of that stinkhole.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:An older employee with a red face and an incensed look in her eye starts cussing me out HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE? HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE!? I was completely confused and said I didn't understand, and we walked out to the parking lot to find my car jagged in the parking space a half inch away from touching her car. A witness confirmed that my car was parked straight and later noticed that it had been moved when he went back out there.

What are you implying? Nobody had your keys, so you seem to be suggesting somebody physically moved your car with their bare hands.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:I noticed today that on the viewing activity on my Netflix account, some disgusting movies were clicked on recently and it was a day that I was at work, so there is no way that I clicked on them or certainly anyone else in my household didn't.

You believe somebody who works at a convenience store happens to be a sophisticated computer hacker who broke into Netflix itself just to hijack your account and click on dirty videos? Is this seriously what you think?

ScienceAndCake wrote:

IntellectuSophisto wrote:I live in a small area that is overrun by uneducated hypocrite Baptists, the type that want to shove their culture down your throat. There are still people who will treat you like you're not even a person if you if you don't attend their church or one like theirs.

I recommend you leave. Some places are backwards, it sounds like you're form a backwards place. When it comes down to religious bigotry there is no force on earth except the slow precession of scientific progress that'll make them change their minds, you're certainly not going to do it on your own. You sound like you're able to hold down a job - grab work somewhere else and get out of that stinkhole.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:An older employee with a red face and an incensed look in her eye starts cussing me out HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE? HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE!? I was completely confused and said I didn't understand, and we walked out to the parking lot to find my car jagged in the parking space a half inch away from touching her car. A witness confirmed that my car was parked straight and later noticed that it had been moved when he went back out there.

What are you implying? Nobody had your keys, so you seem to be suggesting somebody physically moved your car with their bare hands.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:I noticed today that on the viewing activity on my Netflix account, some disgusting movies were clicked on recently and it was a day that I was at work, so there is no way that I clicked on them or certainly anyone else in my household didn't.

You believe somebody who works at a convenience store happens to be a sophisticated computer hacker who broke into Netflix itself just to hijack your account and click on dirty videos? Is this seriously what you think?

You are sitting here thinking that my logic is flawed but you are not even thinking about what I'm saying. It is not that easy to just get up and move away when you're 20. I currently have no good assets, still another semester to go in college, and it takes loads of savings to be able to move and get a new apartment because there's the cost of furnishing it, security deposit etc. and not to mention my car insurance would go up because I am lucky to get very cheap insurance here.

First of all, I don't work at a convenience store and it doesn't require a tech genius to hack into someone's computer if you know their name and some types of personal information. Some people even do it from facebook. All they need is your IP address. Besides, he could have people that are in on it who are doing all the work. Second, whether it is enemies in my community or someone else, there is no earthly way I or anyone in my household clicked on that, so someone had to be using my account in a remote location. Also, the intrusion happened on Sunday and when I went to go watch my show on the t.v. Monday night, it had mysteriously logged me out of that device. I didn't know why it had done that until Friday when I went to watch something else and I saw the recommendations.

Yes I am suggesting that someone picked up my car and moved it. What other explanation is there? Others noticed that it was definitely moved and I did not drive it since the beginning of my shift. They would have only had to pick up the side of the bumper, because it was crooked when I found it. A strong guy can pick up a car, it happens all the time in high schools.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:1. "it takes loads of savings to be able to move and get a new apartment because there's the cost of furnishing it, security deposit etc...and not to mention my car insurance would go up because I am lucky to get very cheap insurance here"

Rent furnished. Of course there's a cost involved, I didn't say "move out and pay no money" I said "move out". Yeah, you'll have to save for a security deposit. If you're the type of person who meets every challenge with a million reasons not to try, then you're the type of person who'll never solve their own problems.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:First of all, I don't work at a convenience store and it doesn't require a tech genius to hack into someone's computer if you know their name and some types of personal information. Some people even do it from facebook. All they need is your IP address.

Funny, because I am a professional computer progammer and I think everything you just said is nonsense. Yes, hacking into a person's computer does require extreme technical expertise. You say "all you need is an IP address", even THAT would be an insurmountable obstacle. You think you can get someone IP address through Facebook? Think again - the only thing your Facebook account exposes is the internet-facing gateway of one of Facebook's thousands of server farms. So to get at your IP address they'd need to compromise Facebook's internet facing router, then use this router to attack a machine on the internet network, decipher Facebook's network architecture, locate the database server containing your personal information (which will be a mysql database cluster on a totally different network segment, so more routers to compromise), hack into that database server, break the database's encryption, extract log information about the IP address you logged into facebook from, then break through your ISP's firewall, compromise your ISP's gateway, locate the network segment you're contained with, compromise the NAT router you're using to find your internal IP address, then find an exploit in your own system that allows them to get reverse shell access.

Now I feel the need to point out that as complex as the steps I just listed are, they represent a vast oversimplification of the actual work involved in hacking in your computer via facebook.

In short, you know absolutely jack $#%^ about network architecture. And I daresay a lot of other things.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:Besides, he could have people that are in on it who are doing all the work. Second, whether it is enemies in my community or someone else, there is no earthly way I or anyone in my household clicked on that, so someone had to be using my account in a remote location.

And how exactly do you know netflix isn't pushing those advertisements out? How do you that somebody with the same IP address (oh, you didn't know your ISP can assign multiple people the same IP address using NAT?) didn't do it and netflix is now pushing those advertisements to you? How do you know you didn't leave your account logged in somewhere and somebody merely clicked on a dirty video (note how much more likely this is than you know a genius computer hacker who has compromised your ISP, Facebook AND your own machine).

IntellectuSophisto wrote:Also, the intrusion happened on Sunday and when I went to go watch my show on the t.v. Monday night, it had mysteriously logged me out of that device. I didn't know why it had done that until Friday when I went to watch something else and I saw the recommendations.

Why don't you show me the expiration time on your netflix login cookie? If you even know what that is. I bet you don't, given the abysmal ignorance you're displaying of the IT systems you're making claims about. If you had the technical knowledge I bet you'd find that the netflix login cookie has a sliding hour long expiration, and it expired whilst you were watching television.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:Yes I am suggesting that someone picked up my car and moved it. What other explanation is there?

This is how your brain works.

Two possibilities

1. you parked slightly crooked and didn't notice.

2. A human being capable of dead lifting a 2000 lb piece of metal strolled up, hocked up the rear end of your car and shifted it ever so slightly to one side, hell bent on using his superhuman powers to emulate minor parking errors.

Miraculously, your feeble brain has weighted #2 as the "only explanation".

IntellectuSophisto wrote: Others noticed that it was definitely moved and I did not drive it since the beginning of my shift. They would have only had to pick up the side of the bumper, because it was crooked when I found it. A strong guy can pick up a car, it happens all the time in high schools.

Oh right, so the police can't seem to extract two identical witness statements from two people stood next to each other who witnessed the same crime, and yet you're trying to tell me multiple people were watching you park your car with such precision that they remember how parallel it was to the parking guides and can identify a discrepency in the original position and the new position hours later?

ScienceAndCake wrote:

IntellectuSophisto wrote:1. "it takes loads of savings to be able to move and get a new apartment because there's the cost of furnishing it, security deposit etc...and not to mention my car insurance would go up because I am lucky to get very cheap insurance here"

Rent furnished. Of course there's a cost involved, I didn't say "move out and pay no money" I said "move out". Yeah, you'll have to save for a security deposit. If you're the type of person who meets every challenge with a million reasons not to try, then you're the type of person who'll never solve their own problems.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:First of all, I don't work at a convenience store and it doesn't require a tech genius to hack into someone's computer if you know their name and some types of personal information. Some people even do it from facebook. All they need is your IP address.

Funny, because I am a professional computer progammer and I think everything you just said is nonsense. Yes, hacking into a person's computer does require extreme technical expertise. You say "all you need is an IP address", even THAT would be an insurmountable obstacle. You think you can get someone IP address through Facebook? Think again - the only thing your Facebook account exposes is the internet-facing gateway of one of Facebook's thousands of server farms. So to get at your IP address they'd need to compromise Facebook's internet facing router, then use this router to attack a machine on the internet network, decipher Facebook's network architecture, locate the database server containing your personal information (which will be a mysql database cluster on a totally different network segment, so more routers to compromise), hack into that database server, break the database's encryption, extract log information about the IP address you logged into facebook from, then break through your ISP's firewall, compromise your ISP's gateway, locate the network segment you're contained with, compromise the NAT router you're using to find your internal IP address, then find an exploit in your own system that allows them to get reverse shell access.

Now I feel the need to point out that as complex as the steps I just listed are, they represent a vast oversimplification of the actual work involved in hacking in your computer via facebook.

In short, you know absolutely jack $#%^ about network architecture. And I daresay a lot of other things.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:Besides, he could have people that are in on it who are doing all the work. Second, whether it is enemies in my community or someone else, there is no earthly way I or anyone in my household clicked on that, so someone had to be using my account in a remote location.

And how exactly do you know netflix isn't pushing those advertisements out? How do you that somebody with the same IP address (oh, you didn't know your ISP can assign multiple people the same IP address using NAT?) didn't do it and netflix is now pushing those advertisements to you? How do you know you didn't leave your account logged in somewhere and somebody merely clicked on a dirty video (note how much more likely this is than you know a genius computer hacker who has compromised your ISP, Facebook AND your own machine).

IntellectuSophisto wrote:Also, the intrusion happened on Sunday and when I went to go watch my show on the t.v. Monday night, it had mysteriously logged me out of that device. I didn't know why it had done that until Friday when I went to watch something else and I saw the recommendations.

Why don't you show me the expiration time on your netflix login cookie? If you even know what that is. I bet you don't, given the abysmal ignorance you're displaying of the IT systems you're making claims about. If you had the technical knowledge I bet you'd find that the netflix login cookie has a sliding hour long expiration, and it expired whilst you were watching television.

IntellectuSophisto wrote:Yes I am suggesting that someone picked up my car and moved it. What other explanation is there?

This is how your brain works.

Two possibilities

1. you parked slightly crooked and didn't notice.

2. A human being capable of dead lifting a 2000 lb piece of metal strolled up, hocked up the rear end of your car and shifted it ever so slightly to one side, hell bent on using his superhuman powers to emulate minor parking errors.

Miraculously, your feeble brain has weighted #2 as the "only explanation".

IntellectuSophisto wrote: Others noticed that it was definitely moved and I did not drive it since the beginning of my shift. They would have only had to pick up the side of the bumper, because it was crooked when I found it. A strong guy can pick up a car, it happens all the time in high schools.

Oh right, so the police can't seem to extract two identical witness statements from two people stood next to each other who witnessed the same crime, and yet you're trying to tell me multiple people were watching you park your car with such precision that they remember how parallel it was to the parking guides and can identify a discrepency in the original position and the new position hours later?

Who said anything about the police being involved? You seem to need to work on your reading comprehension. The witnesses were clerks that were taking shopping carts back inside. They said that they noticed when they came back out to get more carts it appeared crooked and that they remembered it was parked straight before. It would be logical for them to pick out the difference in a parking lot full of cars because a person's eye would naturally focus on such a peculiarity and would notice that it did not appear there before. It was actually moved so close to the other car that it would have been very difficult if not impossible to have come in at such an angle anyway. It is not that difficult to pick up one side of a small car, a couple of big guys could do it. I had never heard of such a thing happening until then, but I am told it is common. Maybe it was a random prank? Maybe it was a disgruntled employee who was angry about me being promoted before them? Or maybe it was a bulling tactic of an enemy who enjoys a mean prank?

I am a girl, just because I don't understand IT systems doesn't mean I'm an idiot. Ignorant, sure, but not everyone can be an expert on every subject, and I daresay there are many things in the world you yourself are ignorant about. The stuff simply doesn't interest me. If it did I would probably be just as knowledgeable as you.

I have no idea why it happened, but I know for a fact that when I went to watch my show Monday, my Netflix account had been logged out of the Roku device and it is not as simple as pushing a wrong button to sign it out of that device, unless it is done from a computer, which no one in my family had access to and I know I did not do. Sunday I did not access my account from anywhere, I slept practically all day because I was exhausted from work the previous night and then I got up and did homework all day. I don't know how someone got my password, but the only explanation I could think of is if they hacked into my computer and found the password in a document that I keep for reference. Why would my account be signed out of the device and strange content that I know I didn't click on streamed?

IntellectuSophisto wrote:Who said anything about the police being involved? You seem to need to work on your reading comprehension. The witnesses were clerks that were taking shopping carts back inside.

You strike me as a very lonely girl. Your every post on this forum only drives people to hate you more. It's difficult to read your irrational, ill informed, uneducated and (by far the most anoying thing) self masturbatory ramblings without wanting to crack you right in your nose. What's worse, despite the fact you're constantly giving people reasons to think you're a petty, arrogant person, you maintain a delusional belief that the reason people hate you is some form of jealousy.

Even your delusions of being the victim of hacking attempts and mysterious strongmen who move cars for fun are entirely based around the idea that huge numbers of people give a ###$ about you, and they don't.

Hi intellectu,
First of all please apologise because I'm not great at expressing myself.
I was reading your posts and the replies you have received and it feels very similar to myself.
In my case I have had for many years the certainty that there's something going around about me on internet and people recognise me in the street and it sometimes kills me.
The main similarity is that I am absolutely convinced but I have no proof so when I was reading the last reply you had I thought that's exactly what people think about me(the few that I have told about it). I have been told many times people don't care about me and what makes me think people give a *** about me but that has never helped me. I have read to many cases of people who's life's have been ruined just for fun and because they were easy targets.
When there's an episode of some stranger acting weirdly towards me I go down and I have no one to go to. Even though they have not told me, I know it is draining for my brother and so... I had a big crisis 12 years ago and I fried him with my panic calls. I have been on and off therapists(when I had my crisis I was prescribed riserperdal, strong one) and I have never been given a diagnosis apart from the obvious depression. I am now convinced I have an avoidant/paranoid personality and I think I would have benefited from going to a therapist long before my crisis(when I gradually started to isolate myself which was much before I started with that bullying/Identity theft thing).
I don't have the solution but my advice to you would be to see a doctor even if, like me, you will continue to believe you are being bullied. I have many issues(like cognitive distortions I think it is called) and at least therapists are helping me to learn to cope with the anxiety and to know myself.
You may think my case is very different, very possible, in that case sorry for the long post and retain only my best wishes, good luck

Hello. This post is very significant to me. It sounds like my life 20 years ago. You sound very bewildered. I will try my best to give some observations and advice. Remember, take what you like and leave the rest--take the advice you need or reject it, as advised by any 12 step program (codependent that is).

1. Your job is a major point of stress. If you can cope with, transfer or get away from it, I would. If you are forced to stay there, there are steps that you can take to keep the general populous at bay. I will discuss that in another posting.

2. I would as soon as possible leave this town that you are in. I moved away from my hometown because of all the trauma from it.

3. Sharp, overtly strict religious systems of all types, in general, a can VERY DANGEROUS to your mental health. Now, average church people who are open, politically moderate, mentally healthy and stable are okay to hang out with, but stay away from anyone who is supersticious or who spouts so many rules that you cannot breathe. ANYONE who is primitivistic, who thinks that mental illness is "possession" and who believes that women should be barefoot, pregnant and chained to the stove--RUN LIKE H***. STAY AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE--whatever church or system they belong to.


4.. You will have to be tough. People envy youth and are often prejudiced against the young. As the mother to a millenial daughter who is 20 I know how smart and together young people are. My daughter has had to be tough, straight forward and calm in the face of idiots. Sane or not sane, every--single--young--one here needs to know assertiveness, calmness and the laws to protect themselves. My daughter took no guff with anyone. Eventually, she joined the Navy. BTW, she almost got sucked into the cult when she was about 18, but she resisted and got out.


6. Make a clear plan to take care of yourself. Self care is paramount. Have a space to read. If you don't like books, get audio books. Develop a routine. Make sure to eat three meals a day. Take meds if you take meds. AVOID if at all possible meds that make you dizzy, unable to move, or gain weight. DEMAND good meds if you get them. If you can get newer types like the anticonvulsants, they are good, or the more subtle of the anti-D's, get those. Don't get something too strong that makes you overtly weepy, unable to drive, or makes you gain tons of weight. MAke sure that doctor knows how you feel and communicate with him.

7. Develop positive friendships with safe people who don't do drugs and with people who are moderate, emotionally healthy and who are not manipulative. If you party, party with people who use designated drivers and who know to crash in one place, in a place that is safe and with people you know.

8. Delve into art or music. Art and music will help you to feel better.

9. Plan financially. Be financially literate NOW. Be super careful with student loans. Try scholarships.

10. No person, be they male or female, in a romantic relationship with you should ever be manipulative, emotionally, physically or in other ways abusive. There is plenty of time. Do not let anyone talk you into anything that you aren't ready for and know your own worth.

For the things that are bad that are happening to you, Id get with someone stable and knowledgable and see what strategies would help you to stay away from bad folks. If you dont' drive well, stick with city streets or walk if you can. Ask a supervisor for advice on a good, solid place to park that is out of the way and is easy to park at. If you tend to get spaced out, try again, as I said to take good meds, meds on time, and to eat well. If you get low blood sugar, eat fruit, nuts, drink milk or juice every 2-3 hours or so, or keep candy or juice in your purse. Low blood sugar can create feelings of depression and weakness.

Ask the doctor, the psychiatrist about fugues and disassociation. These can be caused by stress and hormonal fluctuation, or starvation. Part of what you experience could be real and part of it might not. Whichever or whatever, do NOT feel bad. Take action. Make simple goals. Do NOT listen to critical or mean people. Forgive yourself and move on. Make that doctor WORK FOR YOU.

You want to simplify. You want to do what works. Know your limits.


People are sometimes blind. The Bible says that some people's eyes are darkened and a Hindu book says that there are people who are in "the mode of ignorance." They cannot see beyond themselves. There is a book by Dr. Brene Brown called "I thought it was me (but it wasn't"). It is about shame and how it can eat you up. As long as you are polite and ethical then what these idiots do is their problem. Always remind yourself that their path is not yours. People CHOOSE how they treat you.

Lastly, do not go down paths of self sabotage. With yourself, your career, your choice of partner, all of that--is up to you. DO NOT LET SMALL MINDED PEOPLE GET YOU DOWN. THEY CAN RUIN YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

BUT REMEMBER, there are people--some country folk, some street folk, some intellectuals, who ARE NICE AND HEALTHY and if you meet a healthy person, stick with them in terms of friendship. They can be GOLD.

"Letter to myself 20 years ago"

Hugs,

C.

Work:

1. Be polite to people who don't have attitudes. In general, the "Good Morning" or "Thank you" needs to be consistent with regular folk. If you have to speak to an idiot, try to be straightforward, face blank or mildly pleasant and just try to be polite and objective.

2. Develop objectivity. Be this through DBT therapy, schema therapy, the Gita or Eastern Philosophy (stay away from ISKON), the 8 fold path, Abraham Lowe or a 12 step anti codependent program, use it!!!! Build up what is called "Ego strength." Some people have little inspirational sayings that they say every morning. I used to use Shakespeares soliloquy of Falstaff and I recited it over and over and over until it became part of me and I got a Bachelor's degree when nobody thought that I could.

3. Stay quiet around idiots. Be very careful only to do one thing at the work station and then leave. Do not make eye contact. If an idiot says something stupid, ignore it at all costs.

4. Bring inspriational literature or music to work and use it during breaks.

5. Give nothing about your personal life. Look up VERBAL JUDO and if you can, learn it. Use diplomacy. If someone asks you a "messy" question about someone else or they want to pick a verbal fight, say things like "I don't know" "I don't know what you mean" or "I didn't say that." Make sure that you know your supervisor well and stay in touch with a higher up who understands you.

6. Diversify. Make sure that you keep all certificates, artwork, designs of civil engineering, structures, or fashion designs in a notebook or binder. My daughter did this. Keep all accomplishments together.

7. DO NOT STATE goals to unsupportive people or even sometimes well meaning people. Keep improving.


8. Sometimes, but not all of the time, (I'm super low maintenance) if you want to, you can use power suits, (one color with a matching scarf or pin)/manicures or hair or whatever, but that's only if you want to. In any case, stay neat.

9. Keep personal items in the car if nosy people will get them. An inspirational book can be traditional and just a "Hallmark" book of phrases or a poetry book is simple. Don't use diaries, philosophy books or other relgious books around traditionals because they won't understand. Just use a poetry book or little sentimental book but just use the phrases that will help you feel better. Keep anything deep or personal in the car.

10. Use parking spaces away from the building that are easy to park at.

11. Know your rights. Report bullying if you can. Look at the EEOC websites and the Americans with Disabilities act.

12. The more that you realize how much people live in illusion and from their own upbringing, the more you will realize how much of the problem isn't you. Now, if you know that you are hostile and angry or have a small behavior that is unpleasant, try to change it but only if you feel that you are not being productive or ethical.

13. There is a lot of stuff by Franklin Covey, Tom Robbins and Dale Carnegie that may help.

14. Of alternative types, the organic people who have the gardens are good, or Unitarians or people who are into advocacy can be nice. Overtly controlling peopel who are into detail or weird political people who like to cause trouble--stay away from them.

15. Your path is not their path...recite that over and over.

16. Diversify. Network. Try to transfer or grow into another career. For example, I work with maps. If I were good in math, I might be an engineering tech. I'm verbal and good at looking up stuff and I want to be an Archivist. Branch out. Try something new and make plans to get away from this job.

17. Like I said, consistent behavior every day and strength within will eventually wear out the idiots.

18,. Always clarify and stick only to the professional issues.

I can't think of anythign else but another person on the forum probably knows other job stuff.