Mystery bullies and Untrue Rumor Starters

My problem is not with parking, but this job is very stressful to me, mostly because of the ups and downs of the people I work with. The amount of drama created by other employees is absurd. I am not imagining these things, there is and always has been a lot of drama directed at me in this community. My enemies are not going to pick up my car again, but every now and then, they will make me realize by some way or another that I am so meanly hated by certain people and will never have a place here. I am not going to listen to others here suggesting that I am having paranoid ######6 delusions its always the person's own fault, bullies are product of your imagination! This is what they tried to tell me in high school when people were shouting in my face to kill myself and whispering made up lies to other people right in front of me! My distress is not valid, its neurotic and imagined, nobody else could possibly do anything wrong!

I would see a psychiatrist.

People do NOT pick up and move cars all the time.

13cmk wrote:I would see a psychiatrist.

People do NOT pick up and move cars all the time.

+1

It might have looked like it but I did not mean to say that what you are saying is not what's really happening. I was trying to explain that even though the psychologist did not believe me when I continued to think it is all happening, the sessions helped me to cope with the anxiety being people's "target" caused me.
Also that it has helped me a lot to read the avoidant personality disorder and paranoid personality disorder forums to realise that I fit there and though hard for me to realise it has been comforting.
I AM STILL CERTAIN THE INTERNET IDENTITY THEFT IS GOING ON, I feel a bit like the boy who cried wolf. However reading the traits of AvPD and PPD, I have also come to realise my expectations of people and the way I read them and the way I tend to overanalyse my interactions is only leading me to isolation.
As I said last post, I felt like sharing with you in case anything from my experience could be of any help because I think everything would have been very different for me if I had known what I know now 15 years ago(probably I wouldn't have been the target of this internet bullies).
Best wishes

Oh, and overanalysing I realise it might look like I believe I deserve the bullying, just in case, I DON'T DESERVE IT.

13cmk wrote:I would see a psychiatrist.

People do NOT pick up and move cars all the time.

Well I guess the people who told me in the first place that was going on should go see one. For the thousandth time, it IS possible for a couple of big guys to pick up the side of a car. They picked up one side of the bumper and moved it to the side. Who knows, it could have been a random prank, young guys go to a lot of trouble to do stupid stuff like that all the time for no real reason, their sense of humor is not developed. It doesn't matter what you think, the car was moved and I did not move it. I'm saying it happened because its a fact and that's what everyone else thought at the time. It was probably not just a random prank though.

Just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened to you, and for the negativity in this thread.

You're not crazy, it is very possible to move the back end of a small front-wheel drive car, especially a hatchback. We did this quite a bit when we were younger, as a harmless prank and also to show off. It isn't actually necessary to lift the car. As you pull up on the back bumper, the suspension transfers weight to the front wheels. At some point you can drag or slide the back end. 2 or 3 guys are enough to do this, if the car is small.

I believe you because the woman asked how you got in there, which implies the angle was such that you couldn't have driven directly in. Part of the fun of the prank is watching people try to figure out how it happened. We did this to people we knew and hung around so we could move it back. It would be cruel to do it to someone and leave them trapped.

Also with regard to your NetFlix account being hacked, that is possible if your password is stolen. That can happen if you login from an insecure or compromised computer. Or someone may have observed you logging in, or guessed your password, or had access to your computer with the password list. None of these would be obvious to you at the time. It may be a coincidence that is unrelated to the work folks. You should change your passwords, if you haven't already.

With regard to the bullies, it may help to remember that a bully's goal is to pass along their own unhappiness. Happy people have no need to torment others. So the best way to defeat a bully is simply not to react. That deprives them of their goal and they will eventually move on. If you feel a reaction is needed, you can say something like "why are you so unhappy?". That puts the focus where it belongs, on them and not on you. You may get a nasty response, but if so you can ignore it and know your answer hit home. Just remember it isn't really about you at all, it's about them.

If they persist even after you don't react, then you have a more serious problem akin to harassment or stalking. Those things are against the law, so you should still not react but document it, gather evidence and report it. Use your phone to record it or have a friend do so. You need a couple repeated instances to demonstrate it's not simple bullying or a one-off thing. Both workplace rules and the law would support you, as long as you have independent proof.

I don't think you'd have to leave or move unless you felt isolated to the point that you are alone and have no friends, because they won't accept you. That seems unlikely but it does happen. I hope that won't be the case for you.

OK lady diana.

avatar123 wrote:Just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened to you, and for the negativity in this thread.

You're not crazy, it is very possible to move the back end of a small front-wheel drive car, especially a hatchback. We did this quite a bit when we were younger, as a harmless prank and also to show off. It isn't actually necessary to lift the car. As you pull up on the back bumper, the suspension transfers weight to the front wheels. At some point you can drag or slide the back end. 2 or 3 guys are enough to do this, if the car is small.

I believe you because the woman asked how you got in there, which implies the angle was such that you couldn't have driven directly in. Part of the fun of the prank is watching people try to figure out how it happened. We did this to people we knew and hung around so we could move it back. It would be cruel to do it to someone and leave them trapped.

Also with regard to your NetFlix account being hacked, that is possible if your password is stolen. That can happen if you login from an insecure or compromised computer. Or someone may have observed you logging in, or guessed your password, or had access to your computer with the password list. None of these would be obvious to you at the time. It may be a coincidence that is unrelated to the work folks. You should change your passwords, if you haven't already.

With regard to the bullies, it may help to remember that a bully's goal is to pass along their own unhappiness. Happy people have no need to torment others. So the best way to defeat a bully is simply not to react. That deprives them of their goal and they will eventually move on. If you feel a reaction is needed, you can say something like "why are you so unhappy?". That puts the focus where it belongs, on them and not on you. You may get a nasty response, but if so you can ignore it and know your answer hit home. Just remember it isn't really about you at all, it's about them.

If they persist even after you don't react, then you have a more serious problem akin to harassment or stalking. Those things are against the law, so you should still not react but document it, gather evidence and report it. Use your phone to record it or have a friend do so. You need a couple repeated instances to demonstrate it's not simple bullying or a one-off thing. Both workplace rules and the law would support you, as long as you have independent proof.

I don't think you'd have to leave or move unless you felt isolated to the point that you are alone and have no friends, because they won't accept you. That seems unlikely but it does happen. I hope that won't be the case for you.

I think at this point, moving away may be my only option. I have been harassed quite a few times, but reporting it is SO hard that its easier to just deal with it. Most of the time the person doing the harassing is a big coward, so its not too hard to get rid of them. What I have had to deal with as an adult doesn't even begin to compare with what I was dealing with in high school, just the memory of it is worse than anything. I think its very important for my life that I move away, because all the people my age (the population is mostly aging) are the same old people that I've had to deal with for years.

That's great advice, the why are you so unhappy thing, never heard of that it's a good one. Thank you for taking the time to give good, solid advice.

It's very easy to tell who the reasonable people are on this forum.

I thought that my answer was a good one and I do feel like it was reasonable. One time, someone ran into me at a Wal Mart and they were scamming to get their car fixed, so actually I do know what it is like to be picked on. And yes, I do work at a place that does have gossip and I have seen people get fired for b.s. reasons, so I do understand.

So, I don't feel that I was unreasonable and I do feel that although the answer was long, I was sincere and heartfelt.

I won't post here again, but I'd appreciate some respect. Thanks.