Victim of cyber bullying

Hello everyone, I have come on here because I really don't know who else to talk to and I will try and keep it as brief as possible.

Three years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar after a manic episode where I did and said a lot of very embarrassing things. A lot of my shameful moments were over Facebook and I promised myself I would never go on there again but for reasons I regret I started going back on there over the last two and a half years and looking back not all but some stuff I would write on there would be viewed by other people as "crazy".

I tried to made a fresh start for myself six months ago and recognizing I have an issue with Facebook, came off there and haven't been on there since. I live in a very small town where everybody knows everybody else and it seems all people talk about is stuff that I posted on there months and years ago, basically laughing at me.

I know paranoia is a symptom of bipolar but this is more than that, people really are talking about me even people I would class as close friends but because nothing is ever said to my face and it is written on their walls instead there isn't really a lot I can do about it. Of course if they are talking about me online they are also talking about me to themselves in real life.

I have distanced myself from a lot of my old friends which was part of my fresh start but I live in a small town and it is difficult to make new friends especially when everyone laughs and views you as that "crazy" guy.

My question is has anyone with a mental health issue been a victim of constant online bullying and how did it affect their lives?

Thank you

Well it does not say a lot about you but it does say a lot about your town sadly. I would not worry about it let them think what they want. Low class people do this do you want to be like that? Most small towns think inside the box and are back words. Not your problem it is theirs. Cyber stalking is jealousy and wanting to be like you or the jilted ex! They have no life either very said if you think about it

Well i wouldn't call it jealousy, people have no reason to be jealous of me it's just so annoying how two faced people can be towards anyone they view as "different". I could walk down the high street and nothing bad is said all i get is "hey how you doing?, hows things?" then they run off and talk behind my back, its laughable.

Completely fresh start in a new town I think is the only option I have moving forward with my life.

That seems drastic and paranoid.

Don't let yourself be bullied that way.

-- Sun May 26, 2013 1:09 am --

I agree with Angel.


Stranglely, it is often women who are insecure that do this, IMHO.

-- Sun May 26, 2013 1:12 am --

I agree. Exes and jealous women. It doesn't hurt me. Just annoy me and make me thinks less of them, not myself.

For many years I was on the sick with a severe paranoid anxiety disorder, as well as bouts of depression, But recently I have finally largely overcome these problems and am now holding down a job, and passed my driving test and acquired a car and - away from the internet - things have been going better for me in my private life than for many years.

But I myself have recently been a victim of prolonged and calculated forum bullying on a political debating forum. The forum bully's power there derives from the fact that he is a personal and trusted friend of all three moderators. The fact that that site has a sub-forum - open to members only - where there are virtually no rules and almost any kind of personal attack is permitted, justified as "free speech", gives him a virtual free rein. On that site, the forum moderators themselves are his "in group", and almost everybody else can be treated as an "outsider". Members of long standing have been driven away by him, largely because, once he has used his closeness to the mods to assassinate his target's character, he is given almost carte blanche by them to bully at will. If he says anything too offensive outside of the flaming subforum, they immediately move it there to facillitate his attacks. And all three mods there have acquiesced to his bullying, often seeming to not recognise it for what it is when the rest of the forum can, have backed and protected him, made excuses for him, defended him - and themselves criticised those who spoke up for his victims. At times some of them appeared to actively approve of and enjoy the spectacle. One of the mods actively participated in the bullying himself via private message, in my case.

Now I myself was known to be vulnerable. Certainly the mods and the forum bully himself were fully aware of my situation. And in addition to the anxiety, paranoia, and depression that I have already mentioned, I had also experienced suicidal feelings in the past, and at one point in the past I did actually attempt suicide.

Knowing all this, the forum moderators allowed their friend to viciously bully me by calling me a wimp and a coward, belittling my job, mocking my mental state, being as calculatedly nasty as he possibly could be - and they stood by and let him do it, commenting openly in support of his attacks on occasions, and one of them even spoke in a public chat facility there about looking forward to the bully's next private message to me "with bated breath"! Another sent me private messages in which he supported the bully, himself calling me a coward and a wimp for having had the audacity to complain about the bullying! He associated himself fully with such attacks, and overtly stated that he fully supported them!

And yes, it did actually begin to affect my mental health. I began to experience periods of anxiety again, as well as occasional paranoid thoughts that I had left well behind. And it started to affect my job as well! Fact is, the mods could see - and openly acknowledged - that the situation was beginning to re-trigger my mental health issues, but this was merely used as another avenue of attack. Knowing my psychological fragility, they allowed the bullying to continue, protecting and supporting the bully, and rallying to his defence whenever anyone else criticised him. And bear in mind that they knew I could ultimately potentially become depressed and suicidal, and could see that I was already becoming anxious with episodes of paranoia. Of course, for my own sake, I had to leave the forum, but the problem I had, and still have, is that friends of mine still post there, and the other forums on which I now post have members that are also members there. So even though absent, I do kind of still very much care about what happens there.

Anyway, as soon as I left, a mod initiated public attacks upon me, followed by the bully himself. And when friends of mine came to my defence, THEY were attacked and criticised by mods and bully alike, whilst nothing was said against the attacks on me. Instead my friends were attacked for defending me! In fact, one of my friends was so viciously bullied for defending me, that he too felt that he had to leave the site.

Now, I take a stand against online bullies wherever I see them, and am thinking of volunteering to help victims of bullying when I can find a suitable UK based charity in my locale. The fact is that forums can be the natural habitat of some very unpleasant and malicious people. The best bet is to walk away from it, and if you need to fight it and feel strong enough to do so, get out first. And if you are able to just walk away - great! As for the stuff going around in your town, these are just small town people with small town minds.

I won't tell not to be paranoid. People used to tell me that too, as if it were something I could stop on their command. It never worked for me and won't work for you. But just try and be aware that not everything is always as persecutory as it seems. I myself used to think that I was being laughed at everytime I saw anyone laughing, but once I overcame my paranoia, I realised that most of the time people were just laughing about something amusing they had done, seen, or heard in their private lives. And as for the small town small minds, if you stay away from sites like Facebook and give them no new ammunition, they will kind of eventually get bored with even mentioning or thinking about it in the end.

I am sorry you are going through this. One thing about mental health is that it sticks to you, unfortunately. If someone sees your manic moods or knows your diagnosis, it's a stigma.
That however won't be a bad thing. I mean you had a bad patch - we all do. All you should do is just move on from it yourself. The sooner you move forward with your life and keep smiling the sooner people forget. If you continue to dwell then it will stick with you and will bother you more that it does other people. I mean I can understand living in a small place. Where I live there is less people than living in a city.
I have BPD, which means I actually have manic moods and they become quite erratic quickly. So when I am in a bad, erratic mood I say things that aren't true and I cannot stop myself - I almost convince myself. I actually said things I shouldn't of said and nearly lost my daughter. Now I am on my meds, to try balance my moods a little better and I am seeing a psychologist. Yes, people may look at me differently thinking "Look at her... weirdo" BUT.. I don't care! I genuinely do not care for other people's opinions.

One thing I have noticed is it's not always as it seems. One day you see someone looks at you funny, you panic. I usually say "Have I got sh*t on my face?" to myself..
Anyway, half the time I get funny looks it turns out to be someone who just wanted to talk about the weather, delays, my daughter... etc..
You just have to overcome that barrier, hold your head up and smile.

An internal locus of control means that you value yourself through your own eyes. An external one means that you use other people to define who you are. You should like yourself for who you are and don't worry about what other people think.

It can be a good idea to get all of your stuff out in the public. You'll see that it's no big thing. Nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has stuff, mostly just hidden. Just read the newspaper and look at the Hollywood celebrities and politicians. A lot of people have issues. The perfect looking family in your neighborhood might have all kinds of abuse hidden inside.

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