How ruined am I?

It all started in kindergarten. I still remember the teachers telling me I was bad. The teacher not letting me play with the other children. It never got better. I was always alienated cause I had darker skin. In High School I wasn't allowed to talk to girls. My friends bullied me and "cock blocked" me cause all the girls where White, and they where White.

Now I am 25 years old and still a virgin, but friendless. I chose to be friendless cause people treat me badly. I still feel less than human all the time. When I walk to the buss people get scared I might robb them and act like I'm stalking them. And it hurts like hell. I try not to care, but bullying hurts. It's like being fat and people calling you fatty wherever you go.

I hate White people, but I don't trust anyone. Not even people that look like me.

How ruined am I? Beyond repair?

No you are not damaged beyond repair. You are hurt, you've been hurt by bullying. Your reaction is more than understandable. You are also NOT Less Than Human.

I know saying that I'm sorry for how you were treated won't mean much, but nevertheless I am. Just remember its not a whole race or specific group of people who treated you that way. The only thing the group had in common was that they were uncompassionate cruel people who needed to make themselves feel better by hurting someone who is different.

Please find a way to come to terms with the hurt you have endured. You're the only person who can make you better.

Why don't you trust anyone, Less-Than-Human? I can completely understand how racist bullying would provoke such a feeling towards the people doing it. But, anyone?

Come on. First you should change your name:-) You are human!
I dont know where you live (sounds like a redneck town actually if you were the only black kid...) but maybe if possible move to a more diverse location. You will get less harrassment because the people living there will be used to differences and hopefully more accepting. nd who knows? Maybe you will meet a friend as well.
Good luck