25 years of it and finally slowing down

Hi to every fellow sufferer out there.

I have just found this forum after having lived with this nasty little secret of mine fo 25 years on my own. I never realised there were so many of us out there.

I hate to say it but I really don't think that we are ever cured of this, it just gets to a stage where you try much harder to ignore that horrible little voice in the back of your head. I find now that the best deterrant for me is to think more of the process of vomiting and how you feel afterwards, the sore throat, tight stomach, bloodshot eyes, puffy face, self hatred and loathing, etc. Really concentrate on that more than the comfort and gratification part of the eating.

Another horrifying thing to do is to place a mirror on the toilet seat so that you can look yourself in the face as you are vomiting, the first time you see yourself is a real eye opener.

I know that there are people out there that have beaten this and there are no doubt some no longer there that have been beaten by it, but after all this time all i can say is that we live alongside it. I have had a 3 year "clean period" and to this day do not know what triggered it off again but have found now that i average about 2 or 3 binge/vomits a month but don't beat myself up about it when it happens.

The constant acid stomach, added wrinkles around the eyes from straining and having every tooth filled have been a big deterrant over the years. The last time i vomited (7 weeks ago) my throat was so swollen and sore for four days i couldn't have gotten into that whole daily binge vomit thing anyway.

THIS IS A DISEASE and not some small thing to be taken lightly. I strongly urge everyone to get some professional help as it will not go away on its own.

Good luck to you all