First time Long time

First time posting here, long time bulimic.
I have been bulimic for about 11 years now. It started because my Grandfather "commissioned" a contest among my family members to lose weight. It was completely innocent but I NEEDED to win so I started cheating a little bit. I ate healthy and exercised but any time I went a little overboard with eating, I "fixed" it by purging so it wouldn't effect my progress in this little contest. Needless to say, I became addicted to it.
At my very worst, I lived alone in NYC and spent hundreds of dollars a day on food and lived in a micro apartment full of food garbage. Wrappers, boxes, bags. My bed was full of garbage that I slept in. I couldn't let people come over bc I was too embarrassed but was too defeated to clean it up. At my very best was recently, after I had admitted to my husband of 2 years how I had been suffering. I was afraid it would ruin our marriage and i was beside myself to learn that he was ready to drop everything in his life to help and support me. He counted the days I was free and each day sounded more and more monumental. I got to day 23. and then relapsed. It broke my heart and it still does. I'm not at my worse anymore, I do have good days now, but I'm not free, not even remotely. I don't admit to my husband anymore the exact situation. I tell him a have infrequent bad days, when it's actually the opposite. I have infrequent good days. I realize that I need professional help, especially now that we have a son (I got through most of my pregnancy free and healthy) but I thought this forum would be a great way to keep my battle at the forefront of my mind and stay strong. I don't know how it's taken me so long to do even this and it breaks my heart to think of how long I've wasted on Bulimia. 1/3 of my life and ice barely reached out for help once. I hope this is the first step I take to getting real help because I am tired of this running my life. Any advice on this journey would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening

How are you doing? I really hope you're ok. Have you had professional help?

I'm in my recovery stage and have (fingers crossed) stopped purging. This is almost 100% down to eating regularly and healthily. I can't stress how much that has helped.

Please let me know how you're doing x