New Girl who needs some support

Hi Everyone

Well i stumbled across this page because sadly i fear i am heading for a Bulimia relapse and i feel i need some support. Long story short i am 24 and i first developed bulimia when i was 14- 10 lovely years of battling. Despite this i am proud to say i have achieved so much in my life so far and i am planning to make all my dreams come true! However, lately i have been under alot of stress, in and out of jobs- i just graduated university last year and i am saving to go do an AMAZING work placement in January- i have family/friend troubles and in general i am very much an overthinker and i stress ALOT! In the past 3 months i have noticed my mind becoming more obsessed with food and what i am eating, i wake up and think about food , i go to bed and think about food, but sadly in the last week i have had a few binges and i have made myself throw up afterwards. I am not proud of this at all. I feel i put myself under so much pressure and yes i know my mind will always have a part of it that is WEIGHT orientated but i don't want this to be my life again. i am really scared that i will slip back into old habits or develop new ones. I have 12 weeks before i go away on an AMAZING adventure and i think i am worried about how my eating and how i am going to look. I need to stress i love myself for who i am, i do not hate myself , i do not particularly like what i put my poor body through sometimes but i have learned to love who i am is a person, but that does not mean that my thoughts don't shift to....you could lose a few pounds.....
But yes, that is my story but really guys all i need is somewhere to go and share this so i hopefully don't go head first into my old ways completely- i binged tonight and eventhough i want to, i have not made myself sick, this delights and terrifies me!

Thanks for giving this a read,
Love,
10Y2L

Hello,

I am so happy to hear that you have found effective ways to heal from your struggles in the past. Those skills are all there and you need to remind yourself over and over again that you have cultivated an amazing life for yourself.

The stress in your life at the moment can be an opportunity for you to strengthen the skills you've already developed by tweaking them just a bit to kick the dis-ease right where it hurts. Try a meditation class or ordering a spiritual exercise book that has daily exercises and affirmations.

Where are you going on your adventure lucky one?

Your efforts at cultivating constructive habits NEED to be reminded over and over again. Make it playful and fun. Write little notes to yourself and post them on the fridge, for example.

I wish you all the best

ps - if you need somebody to vent to please don't hesitate to write back.

It is very positive and nice to know you achieved so much. Maybe you can distract yourself when you find yourself thinking about food and weight? It sounds like you've come a long way, so yes, be proud of yourself.

You're strong. You can make it. You can keep relapse away, you can do it. Trust yourself.