new here

hi all

this is the first time i'm here.. i'm pretty worried as have recently started to make myself throw up after binges, as in between one or two times a week for the past 6 months. i'm very worried as have always had binge tendancies but they have gotten worse recently and is the first time i'm making myself throw up..

i've been seeing a counsellor for over two years and have mentionned my binge eating/over eating/comfort food when i feel down but haven't told him about throwing up. I'm too embarrassed.. i know i should say it to him but i feel incapable. so that's why i'm here, to try and find a solution.. get some help and support and any advice you have...

thanks

Although it is embarrassing to have to own up to our behaviors, it is so important to do so, for our own sanity. You know you need help - that's a great start. If you have a therapist you trust, opening up to this person can take an enormous weight off your shoulders. The stress of keeping this secret can be such a burden, it may actually feel good to tell the therapist, even though you are embarrassed. I waited over a year to tell mine, and that was a mistake. My guess is that you've shared some of your other issues (binge eating, etc.) with your therapist, the purging is not going to come as a big shock. Whatever you decide to do, just remember that you are on the right track in seeking help!

thanks mia culpe for your advice, i know you're right about telling my therapist and that i suppose when you say that it wouldn't be a big surprise about my purging i suppose you're right!
i know i SHOULDN'T feel embarrassed about this but i do... i will talk to him soon, i have to, but i don't feel ready to right now.. it's already a big step coming here and admit to it here..

i think what also scares me is that i've been in therapy over two years dealing with different issues and my eating habits seem to be getting worse not better!! the bingeing's supposed to help relieve/hide stress and anxiety so the fact that i'm in therapy trying to deal with issues seems scary as feel things aren't getting better!! i just don't see how therapy wil help... i realise i'm pretty frightened that my life will stay like this forever..

sadsunflower,

I believe that you should feel safe with any counselor you decide to do so. I find it a little intimidating to talk to male therapists so I try to go to mainly female T's.

Also, what you are involved in with your eating disorder could wreck havoc on your body down the road.

I have anorexia...I will just plain old starve myself to get down to a certain weight. However one time I over did it and my weight dropped to 73 pounds. Irreversable side effects damaged some of my internal organs. Please don't let that happen to you.

Take Care,
Sweetngentle