A THING THAT I CARE TO ASK YOU ALL

Mia99 I'm so happy for you, I mean it; talking about your status with people who trust and care about you is a wonderful news! Don't expect huge results immediately though ok? Go forward towards yourr recovery steady, slowly and surely.

I send you a hue hug of encouragement!

Thank you so much Minerva10. And I know that recovery is going to take a long time, but I believe that I can make it through

Good question! My first thought to answer that is: if I didn't have 2 consider or decide anything about food. E.g. take a pill in the morning & no need 2 eat.

There may be a deeper & more soul searching answer somewhere that I don't wanna acknowledge but thats my initial thought.
X

lils wrote:(...) if I didn't have 2 consider or decide anything about food. E.g. take a pill in the morning & no need 2 eat (...)

So you would like the eating either become like the breathing which means that you don't have to think about it because it just happens with or without your will, or be deleted completely as biological function from the human race, eh?

Hm...since this will never, ever, ever, ever happen...what's your second more achievable thing?

p.s.
Btw, I'm trying to keep the sense of humor up (since I had an awful couple of days and I feel very sick) but I actually understand your insofference towards something you absolutely don't want.

What a great post. Thank you. This post has helped me already feel... not-so-alone. I just joined the forum and I can't imagine myself posting often, but this one really tugs at my heart.

I have this emptiness... this void inside me.. one that feels like it could never me filled.

What I long for most, which I have great shame about, is just to be held, and craddled and rocked. When I was a child I longed for a hug... anything to let me know someone doesn't think I'm a filthy disgusting beast. The only "touch" I had was sexual and physical abuse. I had a little notebook from elementaryt school through highschool with tally marks of each day the went by without a hug. I thought maybe my teacher would hug me on the last day of class... maybe someone would be happy to see me and give me a hug... or sad to see me leave and give me a hug... very very rarely did I ever get one. No one knew of the abuse and I just wanted to cry (which I never let myself do) and be told everything would be okay.

Hi speckly!
I think you are an amazingly brave person to be so honest with yourself and with us on the forum about what happened to you and what the affect was.

I too very rarely let myself cry, but avoiding those emotions is one of the things that contributed to my eating disorder.

I do not come from a very affectionate family. I was rarely hugged, kissed or really emotionally nurtured, this was just not my parents way.

I understand that void and I think that bulimia was my coping mechanism for dealing with it. To this day I have a very hard time establishing and keeping close relationships with many people.

You are not alone...all of our experiences are unique to us in some way...yet all of them have led to an eating disorder.

I think for many of us lonliness and the void that creates has contributed to our ED. Then having an ED can be a very isolating experience in and of itself.

I hope that you do post, it is healing.

A BIG HEARTFELT (((HUG)) to you!
Priscilla

Haha, yeah yeah Minerva, I was glossing over the whole never gonna happen thing!

My second thought was if I knew I wouldn't gain weight... But u r gonna come back with the same response, damn!

Gonna give it some more thought...
I'm liking the humour tho x

Priscilla13 wrote:Hi speckly! I think you are an amazingly brave person to be so honest with yourself and with us on the forum about what happened to you and what the affect was.

I subscribe what Priscilla wrote 1oo% Speckly. You're a very brave woman and I think that your sharing with us a little piece of your past constitutes already a step forward.

I think we all suffer from some sort of emptiness that we try to fill in somehow. Since I started to post here, though, I've learned so much that I can use to help myself; most of all, I learned to respect other people different ways of dealing with their pain thanks to the respect I, myself, have been receiving from them. This new attitude is helping me to control the anger that consumes me and makes me feel constantly wanting.

When I'm not on-line, trying to survive my days, I feel less alone now. I know I can come back home and pour my heart on to you all. I never feel judge but at the same time I can appreciate and take advantage of other women sensitive understanding and practical advices.

Stay with us and if you can, try to embrace your wonerful you!


-- Sat Feb 16, 2013 8:06 pm --

lils wrote:Haha, yeah yeah Minerva, I was glossing over the whole never gonna happen thing!



My second thought was if I knew I wouldn't gain weight... But u r gonna come back with the same response, damn!

Hi! Hi! But...can I ask you something personal? How did you started your ED? I mean...was it an easy way you thought to lose weight? You don't have to reply me if you don't feel like though, ok?

Gonna give it some more thought...I'm liking the humour tho x

We need to cheer ourselves up a bit girls!

Minerva said:

This new attitude is helping me to control the anger that consumes me and makes me feel constantly wanting.

I have felt this way too. It is not an easy way to feel, I agree, this forum helps me too!

When I'm not on-line, trying to survive my days, I feel less alone now. I know I can come back home and pour my heart on to you all. I never feel judge but at the same time I can appreciate and take advantage of other women sensitive understanding and practical advices.

I have never interacted with other people who also have an eating disorder. It is indeed wonderful to not feel judged and to feel the support and friendship of other people who understand.

I'm glad you feel this way too Minerva, I think that you are one of the people here who will inspire others to post and share! I have noticed that the forum is becoming more active and I like that!

Priscilla13 wrote:I'm glad you feel this way too Minerva, I think that you are one of the people here who will inspire others to post and share! I have noticed that the forum is becoming more active and I like that!

I'm counting on you all too! This is a great place for getting support and opening up with total honesty!