How are you today? *TW*

ladyswan said:

Can really relate to this. I think that feeling better was the feeling of being clean, pure, unpolluted by the anxieties controlled by the eating disorder.

That is a good way to describe it: clean, pure and unpolluted. From reading this board it seems like we all suffer from anxiety. Funny thing is that no one would ever think that I am an anxious person. I am told that I appear extremely self confident. What a joke. People make interesting assumptions.

ladyswan said:

Today I'm on a roller coaster of being drugged and the hyperness peaking through it. I'm not sedated enough but not energetic enough, either.

Does it ever help you to get any fresh air? This morning it was really cold and I went outside in the crisp cold air and it cleared my head.

weepingwillow said:

Sorry you didn't have a great day either. I know what you mean about being resentful, It's hard not to be sometimes - esp when you see others who don't have the same worries/fears and can just eat without thinking about it. That's why i find being here so helpful, It helps to know i'm not the only one feeling like that.

Willow I think that is why this thread is a really good idea. I have had an eating disorder for a very long time. I have been in therapy for a while too...yet I never thought to come to a forum like this. I actually came to psychforums to learn about something that affects someone very close to me and I noticed this forum. I think that it will be very helpful for all of us to be active members here. Thank you for getting us back on track with your idea. ladyswan, lils and others...please keep posting when you can, because I believe that interacting will help us more than just reading.

lils said:

Does anyone think u ever stop wanting to be smaller? Coz unless that happens I don't c how its possible to stop this kinda thinking...

No lils I don't think that I will stop wanting to be smaller. I think I will always exercise and try to watch what I eat. But I hope to be able to balance things better and not turn to food to regulate my emotions and deal with my anxiety. That is why I binge and I never knew that.

lils said:

F**k Everything And Run or Face Everything And Recover. I know which I wanna happen but i know which comes easier...

I think that writing here will help us face everything. When we write in this way where we can really be ourselves and not be judged it helps to face things. When we are hiding our feelings from everyone...it is much more difficult to face them and deal with our problems.

Oh I forgot about collar bones. Yeah...I like those too!

I spent some time relaxing and watching a movie today. I am so trying to learn to relax. I'm getting better at it!

Wishing peace and contentment to you all!
P.

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to check in, sorry i can't respond to any posts tonight. I can't think very clearly, i'm so tired. I will try again tomorrow.

Hope you all have had a good day!

((Hugs))

Hope everyone is doing ok.

I've written a post twice today but i'm having alot of trouble staying on the site!

I'm not feeling too well today - some sort of cold or chesty thing. I couldn't face eating anything today. I have been napping quite a bit tho. Hopefully it won't last too long and i can get myself back on track.

Hope you all had a good day!
((Hugs))

Hi willow!

I have been feeling a bit queasy today. I find it very uncomfortable because this is how I feel after a binge...but I did not binge. I keep getting this anxious feeling and then I remember that I didn't binge.

I also put on a pair of skinny jeans that used to be baggy and found out that they are not baggy anymore. Oh well..skinny jeans are supposed to be fitted. Well that's how I am going to try to look at this situation.

Back to work tomorrow and in a way I am looking forward to the routine of it. Things sometimes seem easier with a schedule. I did buy some things at the store to bring to work for lunch. I have such a hard time figuring out what to eat on lunch breaks. I like to get out for a bit, so I think I will take my food someplace else. Best of both worlds.

Hope everyone is well!
P.

Hi Priscilla,
Yeh, i know what you mean about the queasy feeling. I hope it doesn't last and you feel better!

Priscilla13 wrote:I also put on a pair of skinny jeans that used to be baggy and found out that they are not baggy anymore. Oh well..skinny jeans are supposed to be fitted. Well that's how I am going to try to look at this situation.

I'm glad you are able to look at it like that! Thats really good

Priscilla13 wrote:Back to work tomorrow and in a way I am looking forward to the routine of it. Things sometimes seem easier with a schedule.

I find things easier when i know what i'm going to be doing all day too, tomorrow is a busy day for me and i can't wait!

Priscilla13 wrote:I have such a hard time figuring out what to eat on lunch breaks.

It can be really hard deciding what to eat, i tend to stick to the same things. Do you stick to the same sort of things or do you try to add new things? Do you find it hard to eat in front of others?

I woke up again tonight after a grand total of 30 mins sleep! Thats what i get for napping today .
I was feeling really guilty earlier because i had planned on exercising today but didn't. I didn't keep anything down and binged 3 times. But...tomorrow is a new day.

Have a good day everyone
((Hugs))

Hi willow,
I am feeling better today, that was really odd! I hope that you are too.

I tend to eat the same things because then I don't have to think about it, but I am also comfortable in the same places, wich are quiet and I can bring my iPad. I don't mind eating in front of others.

Do you think part of the reason you binged was that your unstructured day created some level of anxiety, boredom or depression?

I do hope that today was a better day for you! Has your appointment been rescheduled?I hope your appointment is soon!

Hugs!
P.

Hi,
Im really glad you are feeling better today! Any idea what caused it?
I have a cold and cough. Feel pretty rough but hopefully after a decent sleep i wont feel as bad.

Thats a good idea to go somewhere quiet to eat. I can only eat in my house and only if theres noone there. (Apart from my daughter).

That could have been part of the reason i binged, I probably would'nt have binged as much if i was busy. I have a few stressful things going on too so i'm not all that surprised i haven't been sticking to things very well.

I emailed to get another appt but haven't heard anything back yet. Hopefully i'll hear tomorrow.

Thanks for the hugs!
Have a good day
((Hugs)) to you and everyone else

Just checking in briefly to say I hope you're all doing well today.

weepingwillow wrote:I have a cold and cough. Feel pretty rough but hopefully after a decent sleep i wont feel as bad.

Feel better soon, Willow. There are so many viruses going around right now! Sleep always makes me feel better while ill too.

weepingwillow wrote:Thats a good idea to go somewhere quiet to eat. I can only eat in my house and only if theres noone there. (Apart from my daughter).

This ties in well to mindful eating. Being in a quiet space in a designated eating area (like the kitchen) helps to direct focus to the eating. I'm guilty of eating mindlessly while in a rush. Standing up while eating creates extra anxiety.

Priscilla13 wrote:I tend to eat the same things because then I don't have to think about it, but I am also comfortable in the same places, wich are quiet and I can bring my iPad. I don't mind eating in front of others.

Have you ever challenged yourself to try something new? Thinking about it might work in your favour even though it is initially harder.

*hugz*

Hi Everyone,

I wrote a pretty long post and then the site kicked me out and when I logged back in it was gone! I need to just write them in Microsoft Word and then cut and paste...that is very annoying!

I really liked that post too and now I'm too tired to re-create it!

Big Siiiiggghhh!!

I hope that you are all well.
P.

Hi all,

Priscilla - The same thing keeps happening to me too! Only if its a longish post too. I've given up quite a few times lol. I didn't think about writting it out and copying it - good thinking!
I hope you are well

Ladyswan - Thank you. i'm still feeling a bit rough but at least i'm able to sleep better! I hope you are well too.

Quite proud of myself today - i phoned my GP for my results!! They're all clear. I also got another appt for J on monday.
My friends came round for a while tonight, it was really great to see them and we had a good catch up. We've decided to go walking a few nights a week.
I'm stopping smoking tomorrow! Really looking forward to it, i hate it and i really can't afford it anymore!

Anyway, i hope everyone has had a good day!
((Hugs))