BPD being triggered by other peoples illness. *TRIGGER*

So Have bipolar and have spent a lot of time in treatment. During this time I have made some friends who have BPD and I'm struggling to understand the illness. Particularly the need for being the sickest (sorry of that's the wrong way of putting it, I don't mean to offend).

I have two friends, in particular, who have BPD and I have noticed over the years that they really quite like going to a&e or causing drama over their illness.
For example, another one of our friends was I hospital after she fell down some stairs and knocked herself out. My bpd friend went with her and while there told the staff she was feeling suicidal and if they didn't admit her she would cut her wrists.
Another example was when I was admitted for my bipolar to a psych ward my bpd friend said she could not visit because it makes her want to hurt herself so she can be in hospital too.

There have been many occasions where a&e and being in hospital has triggered these to friends into harming them self or threatening suicide.

They are nice people but I just don't understand why they want to be the sickest (it seems that they cannot cope if others are deemed sicker than them).
Is there anything I can do to help them stop?
Should I confront them about it? I so how?
I don't even know I they realise they are doing it to be honest.

You don't mean to be offensive, but you come on here, make your own very offensive topic about this instead of just posting on the thread where nons ask questions to BPD?

My guess is your BPD friends - if they are your friends, which I find hard to believe by the way you talk about them - feel scared that they will be abandoned.

What are nons?

Also I am just discribing what I have experienced with them and trying to see if I can help in anyway. I don't think that trying to help is a bad thing.
I don't think it make me a bad friend wanting to help the end up in a&e less.

I'm confused why posting about bpd in a bod forum would be wrong.

Im not looking to offend people so sorry if I have. I just want to understand and help.

Non = non-borderline person

borderline-personality/topic47447.html

questions such as yours are typically posted here to avoid negative reactions

Can't help you with the question itself though, because I don't feel the same. The times I have been in the psych ward (albeit brief) I have wanted zero attention. What I will say is that they probably don't "like" going to A&E. The things that people with bpd do are usually out of desperation to avoid a particular outcome, like abandonment. Though they may find comfort in being in a safe environment, like a hospital, where their illness is being cared for, as opposed to being alone, at home, with their thoughts.

There are some people with BPD who go to the A&E/ER very frequently and it can come across as though they want to be the "sickest" person. This is one reason why doctors in hospitals do not like to treat people with BPD, because of the few that go in and out making threats on their own safety. It comes across as manipulative, another common stigma for people who have BPD. The reasoning behind this may be different for each person. The reality behind this is that your friend who has BPD probably has very harsh and extreme judgements about herself. She probably believes that she can do no better than being in and out of the hospital, she has probably identified this as a part of her life and sees no hope of anything better than this. The cycle will continue until something sparks a desire for change within herself until she finds a glimmer of hope. Until then, all you can do is treat every threat of self harm as very real, listen to her, be a good friend, and support her, because you never know when it will become a real emergency.


I think we need to be sensitive to these types of questions and not immediately react to them. We need to be aware of how BPD is viewed within the larger community, even if it is stigmatized and often negative. We can't just stick our heads in the sand and get angry. I can understand how someone coming on to our little "home" and not being educated about BPD can be triggering, however we need to remember that this is an open forum and that people from many different backgrounds can post here, and that they may not all be hip on our lingo. Getting angry is just enhancing the stigma, in these moments we need to be change agents in a calm and respectful manner.

I can understand how it looks 'false' from an outside perspective; I think the irony of the situation is realizing that you're clearly freaking out and not in a good place and just throwing your feelers in every direction to try and grab something to steady yourself makes you LOOK logical and capable when you're really not. My metaphor is being in an earthquake: everything's crashing down around you and you're just trying to find a safe spot to hide until it passes. Often times other people are relied on to be that rock.

The threats really shouldn't be viewed as such; it's really not an "if you don't do X, I'll do Y" type thought process - it's more of a "Y is happening, please do X!". Another metaphor I've used often is a person drowning (I'm sure we all know that feeling), from which I can pull a whole string of relevant statements and parallels. I mean, you're not going to sit there and watch someone drown while you can stop it, are you? BPD just gets a bit of the 'boy who cried wolf' scenario because people get tired of rushing to the aid of someone who clearly can't swim jumping in the deep end every other day.

wow, generalising much??! because you know 2 PEOPLE that do this, we ALL do this?! seriously wtf?!

I'm both BPD and bipolar 1 and I've NEVER done the $#%^ you r talkin bout..

I would offer further help but your post is so retarded, its beyond explanation

may I suggest moving this post to the non section or at least a 'trigger warning'??

It's generalising morons like you that keep up the stigma of BPD.. nice work moron..

Bipolar is widely more excepted than BPD. You are born with Bipolar although I personally believe BPD could have a genetic predisposition. Either way I feel as if we aren't taken seriously. My boyfriend who is Bipolar such as yourself acts like HE is the sick one. He acts as if I have nothing wrong with me. Maybe your friends feel you upstage them and they want their disorder to be taken more literally so they act out. That is my personal opinion..

Allll rightyyyy, then!



Guys- this is a member who has an honest question about BPD, and BPD reactions/actions to being sick. Or sicker. Or the sickest.


I have added a trigger warning to the title. I have not moved this to the "Questions from Nons" only because I think that this topic could stay on the public board so that members who are ABLE to give constructive posts, may do so.

If it proves that this is not possible, then I will move the topic. Please do not persecute the OP, she is just stating what her experience has been. I think that it is possible for us to ask for overgeneralization to not be practiced here, and possibly prove that we are not all like this as a group of community.


Thoughts?


Here are mine - I have played the "I'm more _______ than you" card a few times in my day, but probably when I was younger and less mature. Nowadays I realize it is because I want to be the best/most of something, but I do not think I have ever done this in the context of being sick.


Personal self-introspection helps a lot for anyone with BPD. Its quite possible that your friends are not actively in therapy, or using tools taught to them to facilitate their emotions.



AMP

Haha, so... the gaming guild I've been playing with for like 8 years now got so tired of my 'freak out' threads that they actually created a new smiley for my and called it 'MadMartyr'; it's a blue smiley with an exaggerated frown.

And I have taken to using it instead of responding when they mess with me. ;-;