How to get her to come back?

I'm sort of dealing with the same situation as you. My GF isn't afraid of intimate moments, rather she instigates sex just as much as I do, probably more actually. But the best thing I can say from my experience with my GF is to let her know that you love her unconditionally and that you're always there for her and you'll never leave or give up on her (but make sure you mean all of that and that you can handle the ups and downs). The ups and downs, well the downs, are really really tough to say the least, but I would/will never give up on her and I love her no matter what. I try and tell her I'll give her space if that's what's needed, but let her know that I am here whenever she wants to talk. She will usually text/call a few days later and say how much she misses me.

We've had the marriage talks a lot and I'm not sure how far you are in your relationship, but I would marry my GF in a heartbeat and we've been looking at rings the past couple months anyway. She brings up the marriage talk all the time when she's feeling well, but it can change in a day and she'll barely talk to me for a week when she's having a tough time. The best advice I can give is to try and not personalize (lot easier said than done, I know).

Hope this helps.

I am seeing a perspective that I have not yet seen about my problem from that of those with BPD.

After the fact, I have come to see that my ex fiance was likely BDP by the research that I have done. ESPECIALLY by virtue of the way that she had broke up: while I was away on a business trip, and via text. There was no hint of any kind of this. We had a great relationship (I thought) and there was never any arguments or episodes to speak of. She had JUST moved into my house three weeks prior.

She sent a text while I was in a business meeting stating that our relationship was over...that she moved out...and that I should never attempt to contact her. She blocked me from calling or texting her (and her son). She Unfreinded and blocked me on social media, compelled her friends to do so and unfreinded all of our joint friends.

I called various family and friends that day as any normal person would to get to the bottom of things and this effort was greeted with a text that threatened to call the cops if I tried again. I gave her space for a couple of weeks and sent her an email from a little used account, 'Lets talk, we are better than this'. This was responded to by a letter from an attorney friend threatening a restraining order against me.

I sent a letter a few weeks back and it was returned to me unopened and refused. This has been devastating for me since I believe her to be a quality person and I was very much looking forward to a life with this person - it was two great years for me. She had done this in the past but not nearly in the 'scorched earth' capacity that she did this time. It has caused a great deal of confusion and pain form myself and my daughter.

My research identified her as an ACOA (adult child of alcoholic) but i eventually came across information regarding BPD and it seems like she might be described this way, at least as a 'waif' variety.

I have had little hope or signs that there was any possibility of salvation for this relationship. She has gone through great effort to distance herself from me and make contact almost impossible (she left no address either). But when I cam across this site my understanding of the episode changed a bit.

Can any BP folks frame this into perspective for me? Is it your opinion that she actually WANTS me to give up chase? That having honored her boundaries and not contacted her that she might be feeling that I have already abandoned her just as she had feared in the first place?

I appreciate any and all advice.....

My girlfriend has split me black and broke up with me a month ago. She says she is in love with me but her s focused on getting better and healing from the past. She says she doesn't need the love of a man right now and that her love for me and vice versa draws her in and she needs to break away from me. However she has had a male friend at her house spending the night since a week after she broke up with me. She says they aren't being able intimate. I believe they are not, for now. Plus the guy is a mutual friend and he has assured me they haven't. I know him and believe him. I let him know my discomfort with him staying there. She says she is a wreck and misses me and loves me and so on but, needs space. I just want my baby back. What do I do? please help.

tell her in one text this must be very upsetting for you, you are worth the wait, i love you and ill be here when you are ready to talk

and then go no contact at all…or you will fuel her with more, use another phone learn to play the bagpipes, and forget her, when you truly let her go she may come back, if not thank yourself and read up on the illness of codependencey…same destruction if not worse than borderline.