important to address past abuse for bpd?

My brother got really angry at me because when I was in the hospital for schizoaffective, a social worker was talking to me and I told her about my dad's drinking and abuse in the past. My brother said the only reason I said that is because I must have a personality disorder, he angrily denied our dad's drinking.

he called the doctor at the hospital to tell him he thinks i have a persoanlity disorder. No doctor had ever mentioned they think I have this. Anyways, I read up on bpd and mentioned to my brother that it is often caused by childhood abuse and trauma.
now he's mad because it was his suggestion of bpd that only further makes the proof that our dad was abusive...
i dont believe i have bpd, for the above reasons, but if I did, wouldnt it be important to address the past abuse that was done to me growing up?

I'm going to tell you what I really think now that I've read a few of your posts. This isn't about bpd. This is about you, your brother, and your dad.. You want your brother to side with you and validate your beliefs against your father and he wont do that.

What is bothering me is that once again, our dad is left smelling like a rose, after all the damage he did, my brother doesnt hold him responsible for his drinking, and instead says Im the one with the problem. All those times he drove drunk and almost killed somebody and yet, to my brother, he's blameless. I think since my dad refused to ever take responsibility for his drinking, I was hoping my brother would be willing to at least hold him responsible for his own behavior

I think it's best to leave brother out of the equation, and out of your business. Unless, there is a reason he needs to be in you business. It seems to me that you're not really getting any support from him and what you are getting is conflict. It also seems he wants you to be treated on his terms which is nonsense since he's not a doctor. He shouldn't be contacting your doctor at all to give his opinion. His opinion isn't needed unless it's asked for. There may be a day that comes where you and brother can have therapy together to discuss dad and past abuse, but certainly not at this point.

You say your dad is an alcoholic, and he doesn't and you can't force him to take your side or acknowledge that. You've not really mentioned anything that would indicate bpd. I hope that you don't have it, but you should be discussing your history with your doctor, therapist etc (that includes past abuse) so they can properly diagnose you and help you. I see your brother being part of this picture as more of an hinderance than help.

this has all brought up for me alot of stuff about my childhood thats very difficult to deal with. I dont know my brother says that because I was divorced once that shows 'unstable relationships'...he said that because Im also sensitive artistic and tend to lead with my emotions.
I am very sensitive and dont like to see hurting people. Oftentimes when I see a homeless person I give them a few dollars to help out...he said I am overly sensitive.
I used to bring home stray dogs and cats I felt sorry for...I admit that I have a few times in my life got into trouble because I felt sorry for someone. Once in highschool I felt sorry for this new girl, she was troubled and kind of different...i went with her shopping after school and she got me to smoke a joint with her, otherwise I never did any drugs or anything.

I have a teenager who is oftentimes difficult to handle and he said that also shows it. Her dad was abusive to me but I left him when she was a baby to get away from the abuse. After that I have had two boyfriends, but thats it for my relationship 'troubles'.

I have never become violent towards anyone, or stalked anyone, or done illegal things- before I got sick with the schizoaffective I used to volunteer teaching English to Japanese women.

anyways, hope you are doing well...today was boring actually, the hospital day program I usually go to was closed today, so as you see I went on the computer alot

I think maybe your right, it may not be a good idea to have my brother, as much as he says he cares about me, involved in my treatment to any deep degree. At one point he was thinking of being my conservator when I was in teh hospital for six weeks. He decided not to though because he doesnt live that close to me.
He has done some nice things for me that I appreciate, but it seems like I have alot of pain from our dad's abuse, and he angrily and vehemently denies and refuses to even hear it, so it makes it difficult

delamo wrote: I dont know my brother says that because I was divorced once that shows 'unstable relationships'...

This shows nothing other than you relate to about 50% plus of the country.. If you had been divorced 10 x maybe he'd have a point.

I am very sensitive and dont like to see hurting people. Oftentimes when I see a homeless person I give them a few dollars to help out...he said I am overly sensitive.

I see you as being caring and generous and doing a good deed for somone. Probably more people should be like you.

I used to bring home stray dogs and cats I felt sorry for...I admit that I have a few times in my life got into trouble because I felt sorry for someone. Once in highschool I felt sorry for this new girl, she was troubled and kind of different...i went with her shopping after school and she got me to smoke a joint with her, otherwise I never did any drugs or anything.

Again, compassionate and caring person.. I don't see anything in terms of outrageous behavior. You smoked a joint... no big deal.. pretty common amongst teenagers.

I have a teenager who is oftentimes difficult to handle and he said that also shows it. Her dad was abusive to me but I left him when she was a baby to get away from the abuse. After that I have had two boyfriends, but thats it for my relationship 'troubles'.

Alot of parents have trouble with teenagers, and in your case he had an abusive dad so that may play apart of it.. His dad was abusive, and NOT you. You also seem pretty concervative in terms of relationships.

I have never become violent towards anyone, or stalked anyone, or done illegal things- before I got sick with the schizoaffective I used to volunteer teaching English to Japanese women.

nothing bpd'ish here .. All continues to be good.

anyways, hope you are doing well...today was boring actually, the hospital day program I usually go to was closed today, so as you see I went on the computer alot

I'm hanging in there, and agree today was boring.. Thanks for asking..

I think maybe your right, it may not be a good idea to have my brother, as much as he says he cares about me, involved in my treatment to any deep degree. At one point he was thinking of being my conservator when I was in teh hospital for six weeks. He decided not to though because he doesnt live that close to me.
He has done some nice things for me that I appreciate, but it seems like I have alot of pain from our dad's abuse, and he angrily and vehemently denies and refuses to even hear it, so it makes it difficult

I'm sure your brother has done good things for you and loves you, but it seems he wants the family skeletons to remain in the closet. This is NOT a reflection on you, this would be his issue. At this point in time he will not benefit you, because if you're going to be seeing a therapist it's this kind of stuff that has to be talked about and dealt with otherwise you're doing yourself a disservice. The fact that he is so adament about you not talking about it will not help you. In fact, it will put more pressure on you which could effect your progress. I think you need to work on you first, and then relationship with brother later if you choose. Find validation within you, and not brother. What happened to you was wrong.