New Here/Should I Be? (**Possible Trigger**)

Hey....I'm really new to the whole online forum thing but a friend suggested that I give it a try.
My topic "Should I Be?" sums up what this post will be about. I hope someone out there can help me understand myself.

My doctors say I am Bi-Polar, but after researching it I think that I'm not. Then again, I could be wrong. So as I was reading up on mental health I came across BPD and by the sounds of it, I think I have borderline personality disorder and not bi-polar.
And this is where I need your guys help....

To give you an idea of what im like I'll tell you some things about myself.
- When I was a child I had bad anxiety. By the time I was in my early teens I had HORRIBLE anxiety and very very deep depression. I started cutting myself.
- In my early 20s I saw a doctor who put me on paxil. I was in a relationship for a few months during this time, but it failed due to my "hard to handle" moods. The break up sent me to a hospital where I was on suicide watch...but I don't think I really wanted to die.
- I do random things on a whim,like cutting off my hair, flying to a new city with nothing but a bag of clothes, starting new schools, dropping out, getting jobs, then quitting.
- I was admitted to the hospital again where I spent 3 months. There during that time I stopped eating and lost 20 pounds. The doc said I was anorexic. I was still cutting myself and felt depressed. The doc said I was bi-polar. He put me on a bunch of different meds and I am not suicidal, im not......anything.
Thats the problem. I don't know if im bi-polar or have BPD.

I dye my hair from black to blond every few months. I become obsessed with something for awhile and my whole image/life style changes. I get into relationships and become very jealous and my self esteem drops. I feel alone even when Im not alone.
I dont know what I want to do in my life (im 24) I don't have a job, I dont go to school. I live alone and spend most of my days playing music and talking to my boyfriend via phone because he is away working.

So....after writing out that bit about myself, can anyone give me advice as to how to understand what exactly I have? Thank you.
- Mid-early 20s I became depressed

Hey there and welcome to the forums!

I think it's great that you're so self-aware of your issues. Have you shared any of this with your Dr who dx'd you? Bipolar II often gets mistaken for BPD, so I suggest that you inquire for further testing to really find out. Not knowing can just exacerbate the issue and catapult your anxiety into overdrive.

Also, some doctors don't like to dx BPD because of the ramifications of the stigma of the dx. Some insurance companies will cease covering treatment for BPD and that's something you definitely don't want!

Let us know how things go for you. We are always around to support.

I can't add anything to what Wineaux said. Absolute, spot-on advice!