Arguments

Hey

Had a row with my girlfriend this morning. Well, I call it row... for me it was more a simple discussion, but apparently to her it was quite important and because she got emotionally invested she considered it a row. She then got very upset at my dispassionate approach and analytic way of dealing with the conversation - I was disproportionate angry but in a very cold, black-and-white way if that makes sense.

Essentially, does anybody else have that problem with being very black and white in rows? And secondly, the anger. And really, does anybody know how I can deal with it at all, or help my partner deal with it?

Ta

I have very black and white thinking when I'm having tifts with people, and it frustrates them A LOT. They usually roll their eyes and gives me this look like, "Oh, this again?". Sometimes they'll even say that too..

I didn't know what BPD was until a month and a half ago, and I'm in the same boat you are. However, I did stumble onto a YouTube video that did give me and possibly people around me a better view on what I go through and how to handle me. I've yet to show them the video because I'm shy, but I do have plans to. I hope it can help you.

5 Faces of BPD, and How To Deal With A BPD Person
http://youtu.be/Do6owMR1hSY

This one also helped me a lot too.

How to control extreme emotions
http://youtu.be/cqb50CdgMiw

God, everyone does that to me too! It's so irritating, esp when I'm angry and do NOT want to be told it's "just your temper flaring again".

Thanks for the links!

I think we all know that feeling. It's a common trait among people with BPD. The more heated the argument (like with anyone else), the harder it is to restrain yourself. I know I've had a number of times where I've gone B&W on someone and later had to apologize.

As to how to deal with it, that I'm not sure of, yet. That's why I'm starting the BDP group therapy sessions next week.